Prescription Drugs - Abuse?

[Dennis Peacock]

Just wondering if anyone out there has ever come across something like this:
Person at home has cancer and has various drugs for pain control. A spouse in the home also has pain issues but has their own meds....but they decide to take some along the way from the cancer patients supply to help their own personal pain. Of course this causes the cancer patient to "come up short" on their controlled drugs.

How did you deal with that?

[Dan Hintz]

I would doubt (hopefully) many here would be in such a situation, but let's extrapolate to the generic... the person using the other's drugs has committed a crime. One could also argue that an element of physical/mental spousal abuse is in play due to the cancer patient being in more pain. The facts of the matter are pretty clear.

What to do about it? There will not be any one correct answer. The spouse could be turned in to the police for stealing, they could be turned into their boss (assuming they work) for drug abuse and using prescription drugs not under their name, or they could be left alone to continue what they're doing under the hope that the damage they cause is less than that caused by turning them in.

Without more specific details, all any of us can do is guess as to the "proper" solution, and even then it will all be an opinion.

[Phil Thien]

First, a crime has been committed. The person that swiped the drugs likely has a substance abuse problem.

Second, if the drugs are simply replaced, the problem will recur.

I would first insist on the person that swiped the drugs contact both physicians (their own and the cancer patient's) and explain what they have done. They can plead their case if they think they need stronger pain medications themselves. They may find their case referred to authorities and find themselves going into treatment, which would not be the worst thing in the world. I would tell the dope swiper that either they call, or I call.

If they refuse to do the honorable thing themselves, drop a couple of dimes yourself to the doctors. And explain that the cancer patient needs more medications immediately.

And make sure the pills are not easily accessible by the dope swiper. Maybe keep them under lock/key, or with a trusted relative/friend/neighbor that can visit a few times a day and dispense only enough pills only for eight hours (for example).

[Bonnie Campbell]

I personally would confront the person stealing the pain medication. When a person sinks low enough to steal meds from another, don't be surprised when they deny doing it. Once confronted definitely let both physicians know what is going on. The pain medication needs to be watched at all times when situations like this happen. An opiate addict will lie to their last breath about what they are doing, no matter if it hurts one they 'love' or not. I've been in situations along this line and they aren't good.

[David Weaver]

We cannot know enough about this situation, in terms of who knows the med snarfer and how well they know them, and whether or not the terms are otherwise amicable, etc.

Also, what is the time horizon on the cancer patient, is this a short term deal? Could it be somewhat self solving?

A curt discussion with and admission from the med snarfer would probably be good to get, can it be proved that they are taking the meds - i.e., you would be believed in court over them? If not, is it possible that they could cut you off from the cancer patient out of spite or to protect their supply?

I don't know whether or not there is a non-profit that might be able to advise you better than what you could find out on here. I'd hesitate to go to a state social services source for assistance, because you never know what they are obligated by law to report, but I'm not sure you can find a solution that guaranteed doesn't leave broken bridges somewhere.

Is it possible also that the med snarfer could go back to the doc for their pain and maybe get some of the same meds the cancer patient is on for the time being, and deal with their addiction at a later date when there isn't a supply that can be gotten easily.

[Mike Henderson]

An opiate addict will lie to their last breath about what they are doing, no matter if it hurts one they 'love' or not.
That is the absolute truth - lie, cheat, steal, anything to feed their addiction.

Mike

[Ken Fitzgerald]

I suspect I have a little more insight to this problem than stated here.

Though addressing this problem will be humiliating for everyone involved, it needs to be addressed. These type of problems don't get better by being ignored ....they get worse.

Is the spouse the only other person living in the house with the cancer patient? If not, don't be surprised if the suspect/culprit tries to lay the blame on the other person living in the house, should there be one.

What that culprit is doing is both illegal and immoral. To deny the pain medicine to a cancer patient.....that's immoral and it's illegal......people go to jail regularly for taking/abusing another person's prescription drugs. While I am sure, the age of this person would be considered by the doctors involved, this person must be confronted and must stop doing what they are doing. This person needs to contact their own personal physician if they feel they need stronger pain drugs to control their own pain.....but robbing pain medicine from a cancer patient.....well....that's just wrong in so many ways.

[Gary Hodgin]

Never known of that exact situation--stealing pain medication from a cancer patient, but I've know two men who have absolutely ruined their lives because of pain medication addiction. One lost his wife, kids, job as a state trooper and spent some time in jail. He was stealing doctor's prescriptions from various places and now he can't do anything to provide a decent living. The other was kicked out of pharmacy school (he actually got two chances after spending time in rehab after the first offense). After the second offense, he was prevented from ever practicing pharmacy. His family has given up of him and he can't find meaningful employment.

Based on what I know of pain med addiction, I wouldn't be surprised by anything addicts do. In both of the above cases, things all started with auto accidents and continuous pain from it. I try to minimize my use of pain killers.

[John Pratt]

Along the lines of what Ken said. The person stealing the meds should be directed to a pain specialist to determine if they are in need of different medications to control their own pain. If this is a family memeber it may be difficult to confront this person directly and they will most assurdedly deny it anyway. I know that even if a person has a medication that is sufficient for thier pain, they can build a tolerance to it to the point that it is no longer able to satisfy its intended purpose. Maybe a change to a different med could help throught the help of a pain management specialist. I myself take a few different pain meds that I switch frequently so that I don't build a tolerance to one. If the cancer patient is unable to take their own meds and has the option of having another family member administer the medication, it might help. Another option is "his" and "hers" locking medicine cabinets. That may not solve the problem, but it is a lot harder to deny when the cabinet has been broken into.

[paul cottingham]

As a recovering drunk/drug user, I can tell you the sit'n is pretty complex. I would try going to an open Alanon meeting, and asking others what they did in similar situations. Beyond that, I can tell you the person in question will likely not respond well to any confrontation, and the situation may get worse, not better. I'm just guessing, here, given the factswe are presented with, but that is my opinion.

[Greg Portland]

Get a small safe as a stop-gap measure to lock up the pain meds.

[Jim Becker]

Tough situation, Dennis. Obviously, the legal issues that others have raised are true. From a practical and moral standpoint, I think we can all agree that it's something that needs to be stopped and I agree with Ken that it may involve some humiliation. Necessary, unfortunately. The best ongoing solution may be to have a third party dispensing the medications if the basic problem cannot be solved through simple pleas. And as Ken said, if the non-cancer patient really needs some additional medication help, they should be consulting with their physician, rather than self-medicating from drugs that were prescribed for someone truly in need of them.

[Chris Kennedy]

Wow. Reading the original post and everything that has come after, I am a little shocked.

To begin with, I am going to assume the "swiper" is not an addict. From the OP's message, I am not certain we can go there. There is no indication that this person has been doing this for some time, that this person has been getting opiates from a variety of sources, or any long term behavior to indicate addiction. None of that information is there. And for the love of Pete, it's a spouse! I am not saying that a husband/wife cannot be deceived, but a spouse deserves the benefit of the doubt.

That being said, the swiper should be confronted. What they did is wrong, and that should be pointed out and, really, it shouldn't be tolerated. If their pain is to the point that they need hardcore narcotics, then they need to speak to their physician. On the other hand, as a one off -- fine. I won't lose sleep on this. I doubt they are depriving the cancer patient of meds. Both my parents had colon cancer, and the docs prescribed as many pain killers as they needed. They didn't meter them to a few a day -- just take them as necessary. If they needed more, more were prescribed. The doctors trusted the patient and my parents consumed at a rate commensurable with their diagnosis.

Of course, if this is happening on a regular basis, then there is a problem. Apply all previous solutions above.

Cheers,

Chris

[dave toney]

There is definitely not enough information to give a good answer, but I tend to agree with Phil.
Getting the law involved may create problems for everyone that could be even worse than it is at present.
Dying of cancer and having your spouse arrested and charged with a crime could be very bad, especially if the spouse is otherwise caring and tending to the cancer patient.
Good luck with this.
Dave

[David Larsen]

There is a missing point here. Going to a doctor to increase or alter the pain management of the thief isn't necessarily a solution. That person may get 4 pills a day to manage their pain. Those 4 pills more than likely manage their pain properly, but this person may have an addiction problem and likes the feeling he/she is getting by taking 8 pills a day.

Does the OP want to see the suspect get into trouble?

Either way, restricting access to the medication is a remedy.

[Dennis Peacock]

David,
The medication is kept in a lock box. The cancer patient is so frail that he can't even make it to where the lock box is. The abuser is the only one that knows where the key is.

[Clarence Miller]

I too am a drunk living in recovery. It's a tough situation, if possible have the meds put into blister packs to make it more apparent when things go missing also it may not hurt to offer "help" in managing the drugs. The thought process of an addict is seldom along the lines of being sadistic, selfish yes but not out and out to do harm to others. There needs to be accountability built into this system. I don't know the situation but it makes me wonder the reason for locking them up in the first case. When I was taking hydrocodone for my back I wanted to make sure that the pill bottle was out in the open so my usage was open for all to see that I hadn't started doubling up. Quite honestly I didn't know if I trust myself, so I built in the accountability.
Dennis you are certainly welcome to pm me to discuss this in a more private setting.

[Chris Kennedy]

David,
The medication is kept in a lock box. The cancer patient is so frail that he can't even make it to where the lock box is. The abuser is the only one that knows where the key is.

Okay, I am going to go against everything I said in my earlier post. This sounds like a problem, on a whole mess of levels.

Assuming the cancer patient is terminal, is the patient in hospice care? At a bare minimum, a social worker needs to be involved. When my mother was in hospice, they had social workers and even if they cannot help the situation, they should be able to consult. This is right up their alley.

Chris

[paul cottingham]

I too am a drunk living in recovery. It's a tough situation, if possible have the meds put into blister packs to make it more apparent when things go missing also it may not hurt to offer "help" in managing the drugs. The thought process of an addict is seldom along the lines of being sadistic, selfish yes but not out and out to do harm to others. There needs to be accountability built into this system. I don't know the situation but it makes me wonder the reason for locking them up in the first case. When I was taking hydrocodone for my back I wanted to make sure that the pill bottle was out in the open so my usage was open for all to see that I hadn't started doubling up. Quite honestly I didn't know if I trust myself, so I built in the accountability.
Dennis you are certainly welcome to pm me to discuss this in a more private setting.

I trust myself so little that I won't take most meds for pain. Last four surgeries (for my brain) I refused anything but plain Tylenol when awake. I am scared to death of my addiction, and remember being willing to do anything to feed my need for alcohol. Dennis, you can PM me as well if I can be of any assistance.

[Myk Rian]

What type medication is it? Pills, or liquid morphine?
If the morphine type, be aware that it is not addictive, and will do nothing for an addict.
My mother-in-law was a cancer patient, and had the L.M. to keep her comfortable. The doctors and hospice nurses assured us, and her, about it not being addictive.

From the OP, all I can determine is the spouse is in pain, and needs something stronger. That person ought to consult with his/her doctor.

[Phil Thien]

What type medication is it? Pills, or liquid morphine?
If the morphine type, be aware that it is not addictive, and will do nothing for an addict.
My mother-in-law was a cancer patient, and had the L.M. to keep her comfortable. The doctors and hospice nurses assured us, and her, about it not being addictive.


I'm afraid they led you astray, or it wasn't morphine. Morphine, in any form, is EXTRAORDINARILY addictive.

[paul cottingham]

I'm glad someone else said it. It is very addictive in any form. Pain, however, will actually lessen the possibility of addiction. My mom had cancer and a broken back and got addicted to liquid morphine. She actually was able to kick it.

[Phil Thien]

I'm glad someone else said it. It is very addictive in any form. Pain, however, will actually lessen the possibility of addiction. My mom had cancer and a broken back and got addicted to liquid morphine. She actually was able to kick it.

The "problem" with morphine is that it is a top-shelf euphoriant. People with certain addictive tendencies will find this an almost irresistible trigger, whether they are in pain, or not.

[Dennis Peacock]

Ok...for one, I will not disclose the type of any meds in a public forum. As far as you know? He's taking Tylenol. ;)

Dad has a very rare type of bone cancer. 1% of the population ever gets this stuff. He's been through radiation treatment and 3 full rounds of chemo treatment to equate to around $300K in total chemo costs. Last one was just over $16K per bag and 8 treatments over 8 weeks. He's been to M.D. Anderson in Houston, TX and not even they could type this cancer nor develop any type of real plan. They worked with other doctors to put together a treatment plan. Dad already knows that there's no cure and treatment has been limited success at best. Dad's know his time is coming and he's ready to go.

Yes, Dad has been on Home Health Care and now under Hospice Care at home. They are very aware of a self-medicating issue at home and I've been working with them to try and figure all this out. The other thing you must remember is that I'm almost 400 miles away from where my parents live. My sister can't help because she too is a drug addict and never shows up at my parents home but calls often to try and get meds. Besides cell phone texting drivers? I hate it when folks take drugs on their own, outside the directions of doctors and deny it to my face. My mom is not my mom any more, she's a different person from what she used to be. It breaks my heart because she truly was a wonderful woman...and still is to a point...IMHO.

[Jeff Nicol]

I am one of the many who has major chronic pain from nerve damage caused from multiple surgeries and from a small fracture in my lower spine that can only be fixed with fusing some things, and I am not ready for that yet! I take my meds as perscribed and do not ever get a "euphoric" feeling ever from them, when the body has pain the meds are taken to the point of pain and used up leaving nothing for a high. I have never felt anything but relief from the pain meds and have no desire to take them to see if I can get "HIGH", just never needed anything to make life more tolerable I guess.

But this leads me to a story about my wife when she first was diagnosed with Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD) which is a dibiliating nerve disorder that affects many thousands of people and is a very terrible pain filled existance. So anyway she was still trying to keep her job and going to work as she loved her job as a seminar planner. But she would start to have worse and worse pain and would take a few days off and start feelling better. Then back to work and within a few days she would start feeling more and more pain. So she shecked her purse to see if something was wrong with her meds and found that someone was taking her vicodin and replacing it with extra strength tylenol caplets that were the same size and color and she never caught on right away. So she took our video camera to work and set it up under her desk pointing at her desk drawer where she kept her purse and when she went on break or lunch she checked it and found one of her co-workers was the thief, and someone she was fond off and had known for many years before when she was a loan officer. It broke her heart to turn him in as he had 5 kids and come to find out he had depleated his savings and retirement accounts without his wife knowing. He ended up going to prison for a couple years and lost everything just because he was not able to get help with a problem he caused and by having a pre-disposition to addictive behavior, as many who become addicts are not doing it on purpose. All addictions are very difficult to break, and I am glad that I was blessed to not have an adictive gene in me, or it would be easy to abuse my meds.

So with all that being said, most times the abuser needs some help with other issues that can contribute to their need to take more drugs. With this situation the cancer patient may be putting undo stress on the spouse and is not able to handle the extra mental and physical pressure put on them, so having a hospice nurse or other representative for the patient would be the best approach, and to get the spouse the needed extra help to get them through their own issues.

I have been through a lot of loss and mental anguish the last few months with family and friends deaths, some cope differently and need a helping hand, the thing is to see it before it turns into something worse.

Good luck and life is not always easy,

Jeff

[Jim Koepke]

To me the strangest part of this is that it is a spouse taking the medications. That seems like a creepy thing to do with the one you chose as a life partner. Is there a chance the spouse is experiencing dementia?

My wife and I do take some of the same medications, but we would never take one of the other's prescription medications without asking. Then we keep a tally so we can pay back when our own prescription is refilled. I have been working with my health care providers to cut the number of prescription medications I am taking (now down to three). My wife doesn't mind carrying a porta-pharmacy with her.

She has some pain pills she takes for her knees. I am not up on what the current medication may be, but in the past it was the same as what I took for gall stones. I have been very careful to not cause a gall bladder incident. I think I have two of my prescription pills left, but they may be a year past the use by date. If I were doubled up in pain, I would ask for one of her pills or for her to drive me to the ER. I don't think I would be able to sneak them away from her if I was doubled up in pain.

I found out the hard way on this to not tell them at the hospital that you have chest pains. That got me an all night stay without medication so they could determine whether or not I was having a heart attack. Then the mandatory stress test in the morning.

jtk

[Bonnie Campbell]

Unfortunately pain medications are very addictive. Being so, they entice even some people we would never expect it of into criminal behavior. It's not just family members that will do it, anyone that can get their hands on them will try. And they might not be addicted themselves, but realize the monetary value of selling them. I've found the best policy is to NEVER let anyone know if I have prescription pain pills. Obviously some will know anyway, but limit it to the fewest possible. And having home health care people dealing with things isn't 100% safe either. I know personally of a woman working for a home health organization that was stealing pain meds from just about every home she visited. Prescription drug abuse is rampant in this country. There are to many doctors that will prescribe medications that shouldn't even be thought of for minor aches and pains. Persons with chronic pain aren't monitored by their doctors like they should be so that lower doses of differing medication will stay effective. It's just easier to write a prescription and push people out the door.

Sorry, this kind of turned into a rant. I've had way to many family and friends fall into the pain pill trap. Once addicted they lost their souls. I barely knew them anymore, and definitely couldn't trust them.