how much TV, how much video games?

[Bob Riefer]

When I was growing up, we were not allowed to watch TV at all during "school nights" (any night that was followed by school the following morning).

We were not allowed to play video games under the same rule, and my folks refused to buy us a console in the first place (although I bought a nintendo when I was 16, and then sold it a few months later).

When it was nice out, we weren't allowed in the house except for meals.

I can remember resenting some of these rules growing up... But now, I'm very thankful for them as they forced creativity and activity, and I'm better off for it.

Now, I have two young children of my own (3 and 5 years old) and it's time to start thinking about how I will implement such rules in my own household. (edit: we of course have a lot of rules in place already... what I mean is that my kids will soon be in school [so "school nights" rules can begin to exist] and they're beginning to be old enough to want TV time and be interested in video games that they see at their cousin's houses etc.)

I'm curious to hear others' take on these topics.

Thanks,

[Kerry Adams]

Good Afternoon

My son is 23 and will graduate this summer and receive an Army commission. We never had a nintendo etc. but he played games on the computer in full view of us. There was never a TV in his room, but he could watch after homework and an hour of reading was done. We had a Lego room with a train set and that kept him and the neighborhood kids busy. When they were done with that they headed out to the trampoline next door or get a baseball game going or just run and screem like fools. We were both Army and moved a few times, but always made sure there were plenty of kids in the neighborhood. As he got older he resented the rules too, and a few discussions were held!LOL He did his fair share of chores to keep the household running and got a part time job when he was older. Two months ago we got an email that basically said "thanks for being so hard on me-- I am starting to understand! Its not always easy, and you will question yourself, but you just drive forward. You will do fine!

Kerry


Kerry

[Jim Becker]

Our girls are 11 (going on 30) and 15 (going on 4). TV and Video watching is very limited and more of a reward. When there is actually watching going on (not frequently) it's as a family and either something from Netflix, something off the DVR that I've recorded or a particular show we might be following, such as Burn Notice. We sometimes will watch something on National Geographic HD or simlar as a family, too. We don't limit access to our Wii, for the most part, but we also don't have a bunch of mindless games for it, either...almost everything is about being "active" and healthy. The older girl has to do some chore (well) to get the privilege of watching something on DVD. The younger has more freedom, as she is very responsible and does more than her fair share already.

[Jeff Monson]

I have a 6 year old (girl) and 9 year old (boy). Both are allowed to watch tv after shcool in the winter(after homework is done), they both play outside after school when its nice out. My son loves to play video games, but I limit his time (depending on behavior). He only likes to play sports games, basketball and football on the computer which is a little more comforting, we dont allow any violent games in the house. Summertime is mostly all outdoors, very little tv and video games.

[Bryan Morgan]

I was allowed to do whatever I wanted as long as all the homework and chores were done first. If not, its beating time!

[Jerome Hanby]

I try to follow the same kind of guideline. Although when it comes to the beatings, I talk a good game, but I can never bring myself to do it. I'm sure it would be different with boys. I know I needed at least one beating a day or I didn't sleep right.:eek:


I was allowed to do whatever I wanted as long as all the homework and chores were done first. If not, its beating time!

[JohnT Fitzgerald]

we have 3 children (11,9,7). The 'rule' is no TV or video games on school nights; we sometimes allow 1/2 hour of their choice if they've done well during the day for whatever reason (especially our middle son, who has transition issues). A bribe? maybe. but he's learned if he doesn't do what he needs to, he doesn't benefit. it's working out, and sometimes the tv is only on 5 mins before they're off to legos or some other outside activity. definitely no television, phone, or computer in their rooms.

[Rod Sheridan]

My girls are 25 and 23 so this advice from the Flintstone era.

My kids were allowed 1/2 an hour of TV after homework, provided that it was an approved show (not the Simpsons for example).

They played outside a lot, read a lot of books, bicycled, skateboarded, equestrian stuff, rugby team etc.

Oh, and shop time. Both can fix a bicycle, a sink etc, and the youngest can make furniture, and has passed her tests on setting up and using my Hammer B3, which is the newest. most complicated shop machine.

The oldest is a sports editor for Canoe, the youngest studying to become a nurse. Looking at them, I'm amazed how well they turned out in spite of being my kids.:D

Regards, Rod.

[David Helm]

What's a video game? :-) I was 10 years old before television existed in our house. Then it was only 1 station. Not much to see (black and white too). I think kids are way to wired up these days.

[John M Bailey]

I have three children, 14, 11, 1. We do not own a television. I know, we're nuts. I have been called all kinds of things, and even had people say that children have a right to watch some TV. One woman said it was a form of child abuse. Anyway, they have never seen drugs, murder, fornication, or any of the other wholesome nutrition TV has to offer. I should be in jail for depriving them.

[JohnT Fitzgerald]

I have three children, 14, 11, 1. We do not own a television. I know, we're nuts. I have been called all kinds of things, and even had people say that children have a right to watch some TV. One woman said it was a form of child abuse. Anyway, they have never seen drugs, murder, fornication, or any of the other wholesome nutrition TV has to offer. I should be in jail for depriving them.

Child abuse?? some people really gotta get off their soap boxes.

Our kids were complaining about not being able to watch tv, so I told them about our tv growing up. We only had 1, and at one point it 'broke' so that the picture went out but the sound still worked. If you gave it a whack, you might be lucky enough to get some ghost images for a while. My dad got accustomed to watching the Celtics games that way, and that was about the only tv he ever watched. It was like that for a few years, and we were none the worse for it.

I'd like to add onto some of the comments about controlling *what* they watch when they do watch. We don't let them watch a number of shows that their friends get to watch, even animated/cartoon ones. I'd rather let them watch Roadrunner and Coyote reruns than some of the crap that's on tv these days.

[paul cottingham]

I have a five year old. She has attention difficulties, to say the least (she has ASD.) The tv actually calms her, so we use it so she has something to focus on. Would we do that if she did not have asd? I doubt it. We are also very careful about what she watches.

I grew up on a small farm with an old b+w tv and no cable. Came home from 1st year university and my family had cable! So we didn't really know what we were missing.

[Chris Kennedy]

We have a pretty wired household -- cable TV, broadband Internet, a couple of laptops lying around, and we recently bought an XBox. Growing up, I remember the first TV we had, and then the first color TV, and then the first computer (Atari 800 XL) and then the first PC, and then more computers from there. So, I have grown up with ever evolving technology.

We have a four year old and we have been deciding the same guidelines as well. We allow some with the computer or TV most days -- most often while we are preparing dinner. On the computer, he is allowed PBS Kids for the most part, and to a lesser extent, Nick Jr. These tend to be interactive, and we bought a touchscreen for precisely that purpose. Friday and Saturday nights there is more leeway. Fridays tend to be late nights for at least one of us, if not both, and so he is allowed to watch a little more until we are both home, or have dinner with one of us, and then is allowed to watch when the other gets home so we can have a little time to process the day. Saturday nights are our relaxed night -- maybe a DVD and take-out, or dinner out his great-grandmother's. The boy and I play on the Xbox together -- usually twenty or thirty minutes at a time, probably about every other day.

My viewpoint is simple -- keep limits on it, make certain it has some redeeming quality, and make certain that it has a purpose. The purpose may be educational -- my boy has learned hordes of information from PBS Kids and the material on there. It may be practical -- I can cook dinner without worrying that the boy is about to French kiss an electrical socket. And yes, it may be for entertainment. It may be for just having fun together. The same kind of thing can be said about the redeeming quality. The redeeming quality may be that it is teaching your child about letters, numbers, or even dinosaurs and trains or it may be that your child is chortling with glee while you clean the kitchen.

Cheers,

Chris

[Bob Riefer]

Thanks for all the input, I'm not surprised to see a very sensible set of opinions on this topic.

What really got me thinking about this recently is that I have two cousins that are really into the online games where you can play with partners from anywhere. The older of the two has a college degree but is so addicted to these games that he's working at a grocery store (nothing wrong with that, but I'm certain he wasn't going to college to work the meat counter). He plays all night and is just a shell of a person really - there's just emptyness there.

Similarly, several of my neices and nephews have those mini video games (like the size of a ham sandwich) constantly in their hands. You can't even talk to them. They're either texting or playing.

Then there's many that I know that flip on the TV every time they get into the mini van.

Shrug... I just don't get all of that. What happened to creating things, accomplishing things, experiencing things, being involved for REAL with other people? Anyways, as I thought about all that is wrong with the world (and of course, this is just the tip of the iceberg) I remembered my folks limiting my time in front of the TV and remember endlessly inventing games to play outside and time spent practicing basketball and building forts and getting muddy and finding neat things in the woods.

Anyways, I did take the time to send my folks a nice note letting them know my feelings on the topic. I can foresee the day 25 years from now when my son or daughter hopefully contacts me with a similarly thankful sentiment of some sort. It'll be a nice day :)

[David Weaver]

No limits on either when I was a kid, as long as the grades were good. I went outside plenty on my own, and put in my share of hours in front of the TV and video games.

If kids are good, they don't need to have draconian rules like "no TV and no video games". Those are the kids who go to college and half of them are rigid and hard to get along with and the other half have no idea how to make the full complement of decisions in the day for themselves and make bad choices.

My parents both grew up on farms, there was no 100% supervision for them, either, though they had more chores than I ever did and in the mornings on saturday's, my mother's dad would take the fuse out of the TV to make sure they got outside to do some work.

My wife will be more rigid than I am as my kids grow up. I don't want them to grow up not being able to make decisions on their own, or having a problem relaxing because they've been made to believe that you should always limit yourself at every corner. I want them to learn to make good decisions and work smart and make the time they're working count. I don't want them doddling around looking for chores to do when none need done just because they've been trained to think that 100% discipline 100% of the time is the way to go.

[Jason Roehl]

We're pretty wired in this household. I also lead the way, in that I usually have the TV on (mostly news), but I also multi-task--I also am on my laptop at the same time. For me, it's kind of like unwinding. My work (self-employed painter) leaves me pretty beat in the evening, so I'm not all about being active when I get home. The kids get to watch limited TV, and they also have an XBox (2, really, the original and a 360). It's a privilege, though--if they don't do their regular chores without being told, they don't play that day. Other misbehavior may cost them privileges for a week or two.

One thing I got away with as a kid on computer games was that if I was told my time was up, I'd argue a little bit--"I need to finish this level before I can save my game...". My kids get no such grace. When my wife and I say they're done, they're done. Any delay costs privileges.

More importantly is that my wife and I set high behavior standards from the start with all of them. They're expected to remain calm in the house (no running or yelling) and to be respectful. Any deviation gets a warning (it could be the stink eye if they're in the same room, or I'll holler from the other end of the house if I hear them getting out of hand). If the warning is not heeded, there is no middle ground--it goes to DEFCON ONE--global thermonuclear war. :D

Needless to say, they're good kids. ;)