Engagement rings, do you care about the size?

[sunny nic]

As to engagement rings, do you care about the size? I think the size is not an issue, as long as it fits your finger, right? But my gf don't think so. The other day, I bought this ring (http://giftmadesimple.com/product/18K%20White%20Gold%20Square%20Cut%20Diamond%20Soli taire%20Engagement%20Ring%20/55708/?rid=28903843)for her(which I mean to give her on Valentine's day).
Who knows, she said it not big enough. And she even implied the size is sort of matters.. If I don't get a good ring- then what does that say for the rest of the relationship or marriage... It predicts bad things! I'm so confused now. So, what's your opinion?

http://www.ferrarichat.com/forum/images/misc/progress.gif

[Bill LaPointe]

Sunny,

After almost 30 years in the jewelry business, I can assure you that size matters! Sadly, given the choice between quality and size, most will choose size. I suspect this is due to lack of knowledge, but that's just a guess based on experience. You'll just have to learn to live with it. Good luck!

[Tim Boger]

I'd get her a box of chocolate and allow more time to develop the true values all relationships need ....

[Charlie Reals]

+1 to that Tim and I would make it a small box

[Dan Hintz]

How long have you been together? I agree with Tim to a degree... if this has been an otherwise wonderful and giving relationship, congratulations, you just found the first (of hopefully not too many) irrational emotional response. If this is simply one more "You're not doing enough for me" type of response in a long line of them, time to re-evaluate if she's the one. It's all too easy to convince yourself you can look past things like this (over and over again), but eventually it catches up with you and the marriage goes downhill to the land of bitterness.

I proposed to my wife with a 1.90Ct, VVS1 brilliant yellow square cut in a custom-designed ring... the thing is gorgeous. Her response (after the excitement and panic wore down)? "It's too big!" That's one of the reasons I love her... she's not materialistic, so I'm happy to get her what she wants. A 3-yr+ girlfriend before her? Very materialistic, and we were always arguing about what I was going to buy for her next, where the money was going to come from, when she could quit her job, etc... there's a reason she's an ex.

Nutshell? You need to take a long, hard look at what your relationship is built on before making a decision.

[Paul McGaha]

I was lucky. My wife (and her sisters) actually picked out her ring. She's been happy with it for (34) years now. Too easy.

If I had to pick one out I'm sure I'd be completely lost.

PHM

[Chris Damm]

If she's the right one this question would not have come up! You had better rethink your relationship. This coming from someone who has gone through this 4 times (4 engagements and 3 weddings) and wish someone would have given me this advice in 1965. The love of my life didn't care if she got ring or not and we have had 18 wonderful years together.

[Charlie Reals]

A big plus 2 to that one Chris. same stats here, my first was 64. Musta been something in the water back then.

[Russell Johnson]

Sunny, You have been given some good advice here. However I want to add something based on my experience. I proposed with the smallest ring sold and just as I got on my knees I said we'll pick out the real thing. She loved picking out her ring. I also made sure we went somewhere that the ring and diamond are selected separately then she worked through the the options according to her taste. Best of luck on the very important decision.

[Chris Kennedy]

I would be a little slower to be worried about her reaction. I'll agree with others that if this is just the most recent in a string of behavior, then maybe you should spend some time doing some serious thinking and introspection, but I somehow doubt you would get to the point of proposing if that were the case.

What you may be running into is that your fiancee has a vision of how everything about getting married should be. The engagement ring will be a certain size and type, the dress will be glittering samite, she will be flanked by her ten closest friends, the ice swan at the reception will be exquisite. Oh, and there will be pew bows in the church. Never forget the pew bows.

Okay -- I'm trading on stereotypes a bit here, but this does happen. An ex of mine had the entire vision of her engagement and wedding all planned out since she was 17. My wife didn't, but my mother-in-law knew exactly how our wedding was supposed to be (the order for the invitations got canceled by her at one point because the wording was "too informal").

So, my advice would be not to read too much into it.

Cheers,

Chris

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Sunny,

I'm going to bore you with my story.

I got my invitation for a draft physical in 1968. After passing the physical, I enlisted in the Navy for 6 years and got a 51 day delayed entry. 12 days before reporting for bootcamp, I was out with my drinking buddies driving the gravel roads and downing cold beer. When I said I'd like a date with a blonde with a good personality, in the dark I could see their heads turn towards each other as they said "We know the girl. Where do you want to meet her?" The next evening Sharon pulled up beside my '64 SS Impala convertible, got out of her car...walked over and said "Are you Ken?" When I replied in the affirmative, she said "My name is Sharon and I'm your date".

This was my first and only blind date. 3 days and 3 dates later, I asked her to marry me. She was a young, beautiful divorcee with 2 kids from a previous marriage. We picked out matching gold bands the next day....notice....no diamonds...no engagement ring... 8 days later I left for bootcamp after signing over my checking and savings accounts. 2 days after I got home, we married on Christmas Eve. The next summer she lost that gold band. We were swimming in a lake and she was chasing me. As I climbed the ladder on the dock she grabbed my ankle. My jerking my foot in play, caused her ring to come off. Me and others dove until it was too dark to see and couldn't find that ring. The next summer I bought her a diamond and paid for it by giving blood. As a young E-2 and E-3 in the '60s, giving blood was the only alternative method of paying for it.


Did I mention we just celebrated 42 years of marriage this past Christmas Eve? ...and we both retired this week......and she is older than I and could have retired but continued working to pay for the empty shell for my shop that she had built 5 or 6 years ago? I nearly lost her to a rare form of cancer 18 years ago. I'd be an empty shell without her by my side.

And yet.....I wouldn't recommend my method to anybody else.

Size doesn't matter. Quality does.....quality of person that is.

You might want to reconsider this and wait for a while.

[Belinda Barfield]

Sunny, if you are confused and have the least doubt about this relationship don't propose. If you are happy with the relationship give it a little more time. I don't know your girlfriend's age but it is possible she just needs a little more time to mature.

Within reason, stone type and size do matter to many women (sadly). The engagement ring is a status symbol just like a flashy sports car. Women are extremely competitive. Once we cared who brought home the biggest bison as that was perceived to mean the man was a good provider and would and could provide for a family . . . now its houses and rings. Certainly not all women feel this way and I am not bashing women, just stating the facts as I know them.

Bill surely knows more about this than I, but a carat to a carat and a half seems to be the minimum standard these days. If your budget allows for that - great. If not, then get what your budget allows. My ex proprosed to me when he graduated med school. The ring had three stones, a central stone that was a half carat and two side stones of a quarter each. The ring and matching band cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $2500. Later on he could have afforded a much larger stone and he offered to get one for me but I refused because I knew that he bought what he could afford at the time and his common sense and money sense meant a lot more to me than the size of the ring. All of his friends were doing that ridiculous "three month's salary" rule - or some stupid thing like that - and going into debt to buy huge engagement rings.

My advice, harsh thougth it may be, is ride off into the sunset in search of someone who loves you for who and what you are, not for what you can give her. Hopefully I have misjudged her and this is just an isolated incident in your relationship but it does bear some further thought on your part as her attitude about the ring is a pretty good predictor of how her attitude will be in the future. Then again, who am I to give advice . . . I'm a repeat offender so I obviously don't know poop from picolos about what makes a good marriage (other than being faithful - being unfaithful is a mega deal breaker). Good Luck!

[Leo Graywacz]

My wife didn't get her diamond ring until 20 years into the marriage.

If your girl thinks it is to small I think there will be "materialistic" problems later in the marriage. It shouldn't be about the ring, but the gesture. The ring can always be upgraded, but you two will be stuck with each other for a long time (divorce withholding) to worry about a pc of jewelry.

Ask her what size diamond she was planning on getting you, she how she answers that question.

[Brian Kent]

Honey, I'd like to buy a 20" Agazzani Band saw.
Well, dear, as you said, size doesn't matter. Here is a 10" Craftsman!

Just kidding.

(edit: Why do I feel so guilty about this post? :))

But seriously, I would say this is the beginning of a long conversation with each other, finding out what is most important to both of you. Is this the one thing that is important to her, one of several, or will every gift be a symbol of the relationship? And what about when you start buying a set of Lie Nielsen planes?

I am very grateful that my wife wanted exactly the right style of ring, not the most expensive or biggest stone. And she is glad I like to shop carefully, buy used, and save up for tools gradually.

[John Coloccia]

I'm pretty sure I could have put a rubber band around my wife's hand and it would have been ok. The ex-fiance from my early 20's was significantly more picky. EX-fiance, that is. Maybe it means nothing, maybe it's a symptom of a larger pattern. Only you can know that, and whether you're OK with it.

[Dan Hintz]

Once we cared who brought home the biggest bison as that was perceived to mean the man was a good provider and would and could provide for a family
I tried bringing home the biggest Bison, but it wouldn't fit in my sports car's trunk :( All I could fit in it was a rabbit and a couple of sticks.

[Shawn Pixley]

I may not be the right one to comment here because my wife still doesn't have an engagement ring. It sounds to me that the tough conversations as to what is important between the two of you haven't occurred. We had simple $5 bands for the wedding ceremony. Both of us took them off in less than a week. We have been together for 25 years now. On the other hand, if she wanted a nice ring, I would be happy to provide. But only because I am clear of her motives and her character. I am luck to have her with me.

From my vantage point watching others, the ring size is a competition between women. I generally find this distasteful.

[Belinda Barfield]

I tried bringing home the biggest Bison, but it wouldn't fit in my sports car's trunk :( All I could fit in it was a rabbit and a couple of sticks.

You got the girl because you remembered the sticks for the fire to cook the rabbit.


From my vantage point watching others, the ring size is a competition between women. I generally find this distasteful.

I agree 100% Shawn. I would have been happy with no ring at all. Obviously a ring does not a marriage make.

[Dan Hintz]

I agree 100% Shawn. I would have been happy with no ring at all. Obviously a ring does not a marriage make.
They don't seem to think a Sharpie for drawing a ring on their finger is a good substitute, however...

I mean, come on! It's permanent marker! Who says I have issues with commitment... ? Hmmm, sounds like a good Facebook status update.

[Belinda Barfield]

I made a solemn vow after my divorce that if I ever decided to get married again I would just have a ball and chain tattooed around my ring finger.

[Ron Natalie]

I proposed with flowers. We went out the next day to get the ring.

[Leo Graywacz]

I didn't need to propose to my wife.

She said, we're getting married or your azz is outta here.

Coming up on 25 years in August.

[Derek Gilmer]

If you love her get the ring she wants. Is it vain to some people to want a big shiny honking ring sure. But some people like big shiny cars, or watches etc. I'm not convinced that wanting a big ring makes you need to leave.

P.s. Good luck, I"m out to wax the top of my table saw so it is shiny :)

[Belinda Barfield]

For clarification, her wanting a big shiny ring was not what prompted my advice that you ride off into the sunset. It seems that you two have different value sets which sometimes doesn't make for great compatability. Follow your heart and ignore cynics like me.

[Steve Griffin]

I got the ring I knew my wife would love the most. While fairly small, it's high quality, simple and comfortable. It's also from canada. (Though I've read "conflict" diamonds are not near the problem they were in the 80's/90's, we still liked buying from our northern friends.)

So far the ring has worked out as well as the marriage--better than we ever imagined. (7.5 years)

-Steve

[Doug W Swanson]

The diamond in my wife's engagement ring is probably about 1/3 of a carat. Sure it's much smaller than most but the diamond has a history in my family. Sometime in the 1920's, my great grandma had a cocktail ring made with this diamond and about 10 other smaller ones. When my grandma found out Stacey and I were getting serious, she gave me the ring. Then I had the diamond removed and installed in a solitaire setting. After I proposed, we went back to my jeweler and had a custom setting made using a total of 7 diamonds. Then later as anniversary gift, we added another band with a few more of the original diamonds. My wife's ring may be small but there's a great amount of history behind it.
If we won the lottery, she might want upgrade her ring but then she might not. I've got a keeper!

[Ernie Miller]

I was 18 when I proposed to my wife - she was 20. Engagement ring? I didn't have money for bus fare to her house. There was no ring. I was very young and thought I knew what I wanted. I was right. We celebrated our 45th anniversary a few days ago. May I say, respectfully, if you're confused enough to ask for our opinions, you're not ready to propose. Give yourself some time to let the confusion clear itself up - or not.

[Charles McKinley]

Cnyic Mode ON: if you give it to her on Valentines Day it is a present and she can keep it even if she breakes the engagement. Cynic Mode OFF

Hi Sunny,

It looks like a nice ring to me. I think you should wait. I feel a lot of doubt in you post. Talk this out and be SURE before you give her the ring. Divorce is ugly and $$$ is one of the top problems. You have your entire life infront of both of you. Be sure both of you will be happy.

Just my $0.02.

[Kevin W Johnson]

I agree with many others here. You certainly have some thinking to do if this a patterned behavior. The fact that she would tell you its too small is troubling. If she truely loves you the size shouldnt matter. Maybe its simply influence from her mom, or girlfriends or something of that sort. I'd certainly be putting the brakes on till i sorted it out.

My wifes diamond is 1ct, and she loves it, however she'd have been happy with anything. In fact she was with me when i bought it, we're both in our thirties, we knew what we wanted, knew we were ready. We were on our way to see my family that day, and on a whim we decided to stop and look at rings. She was looking at some .5 carat rings, and had one she liked. I looked at the stone and could see black specs in it. It was I that picked out the much nicer and much more expensive 1 carat that was a much better quality diamond.

She loves her ring, for it was what i chose to give her.

[sunny nic]

Sunny,

After almost 30 years in the jewelry business, I can assure you that size matters! Sadly, given the choice between quality and size, most will choose size. I suspect this is due to lack of knowledge, but that's just a guess based on experience. You'll just have to learn to live with it. Good luck!
Thanks. I'll change it to a larger size ring soon. Hope every thing goes fine.

[Barry Nelson]

Dont forget the other one for your nose!
38 years married ,you only get 10 for homicide!!

[Randy Moore]

If you have the least little doubt in your body, don't do it.


First 2 marriages there was a little voice in me telling me RUN. I am on 3rd marriage now. She's a keeper

[sunny nic]

I proposed with flowers. We went out the next day to get the ring.

Congrats for u.

[David Weaver]

When you go larger, if you are going to spend much more money, I would start with what you want to spend, then spec the diamond and then work backwards into the diamond size. If what you have for money to spend doesn't get you a large enough diamond, then after that you can go back through the specs and see what you want to compromise on to get to a larger size for the same money.

Who knows what she's thinking when she wants a larger diamond, I've heard the same thing a bunch of times - one of the people who wanted bigger was my sister, and she's still married (has been for about 10 years) and has a great family.

What really matters is whether or not you two want to be together. You can get over this little bump, no problem. you never know what she's hearing from her friends, or what would influence her to not just take the ring and keep her dissatisfaction quiet.

I didn't get any grief from my wife, but I did what i mentioned above in terms of spec of a diamond and then backing into size. I wasted a lot of money, is how I would put it - the engagement ring process is sort of like being forced to buy the expensive candy at the theater your first few dates (except much larger on the magnitude scale) - you know economically it's really stupid, but if you try to think your way around it with a creative excuse and without being called off first by the lady in question, you come out looking like a lunkhead. There's nothing particularly rare about diamonds except for the extremely high quality ones(types most people never see in person, like large flawless (FL) stones that are pretty much perfect across the board on a grade sheet). The rest are basically commodity stones with pretty much one market player controlling the supply to make them appear much (much much much) more valuable and rare than they are.

One other little nugget, the whole diamond engagement ring craze has nothing to do with tradition among "common people". It's something that was drummed up by diamond companies (well, debeers in particular) who were trying to figure out how to dump more diamonds (if i recall) sometime in the 1920s or 1930s or something. It's too bad we see it as being important, because it's a marketing manufactured "need".

Just do what you need to do (looks like that's what you're doing) and take it, i guess.

[Dan Hintz]

This is all irrelevant as the OP has already decided to go with a bigger stone, but...

Is it a financial burden to purchase a stone of the size she desires? If it is, tell her so... if she still insists on you getting it for her, that is a major sign that down the road she won't care how much a decision affects you, it only matters how it affects her. You never want to be with someone like that, no matter how cute the puppy dog eyes are...

[Derek Gilmer]

This is all irrelevant as the OP has already decided to go with a bigger stone, but...

Is it a financial burden to purchase a stone of the size she desires? If it is, tell her so... if she still insists on you getting it for her, that is a major sign that down the road she won't care how much a decision affects you, it only matters how it affects her. You never want to be with someone like that, no matter how cute the puppy dog eyes are...

I 100% agree that if you all can't afford a big stone with out going into debt and she refuses to understand that you do have a problem. I've got two good friends who just sold their house to move back in with mom and dad at the age of 33 with a 2 year old son. All because they couldn't say not to living beyond their means.

[Pat Germain]

Since I didn't see anyone mention it, I wanted to point out very nice diamond rings can be found at Costco for very reasonable prices. No, it won't have the pretty, blue Tiffany & Company box. But Good Morning America bought diamond engagement rings at Costco and Tifanny a few years ago and gave them to an expert for appraisal. Both rings were of very good equaly quality. But the Costco ring was purchased at a small fraction of the Tiffany price.

FYI, if you buy at Tiffany, you can always trade in the ring and Tiffany will apply the full purchase price to a higher end example. And then the lady can tell her friends she got her ring from Tiffany & Company.

[Lee Schierer]

There used to be a rule of thumb that the engagement ring should cost about 2 months salary. This was not a hard & fast rule but was the belief of many people. In the end you have to buy a ring that you can afford. If you make $100K per year then you could probably afford a more expensive ring than if you make $20K per year. What should matter to both of you is what the ring symbolizes for the two of you, your love and devotion to each other. If the ring isn't big enough, then you should talk about the level of devotion each of you feel. You'll be just as engaged with a $1700 ring as you will be with a $16,000 ring. No more no less. If she or you are unhappy with that then I suggest a longer engagement before the wedding to make sure you both are on the same page with regard to material things. Money decisions only get harder from here.

My wife and I just celebrated our 40th and her engagement ring is only 1/4 carat and she won't upgrade it for anything. She did get a five diamond band for our 25th though.

[Dan Hintz]

Yeah, I have to question any "investigative" story that makes the following highly-scientific (and blatantly wrong) statement:

Because diamonds are the best heat conductors in the world
Guess ABC correspondent Elisabeth Leamy has never heard of metals...

[David Peterson MN]

I bought my wifes engagement ring at a pawn shop. I was able to get a nicer ring because of this. She didn't care I bought it from there.

[Jason Roehl]

I'm in the "get what you can afford" camp, and then, as your marriage and income progresses, mark the milestones with something like Lee described--additional bands with diamonds. I think it would be silly to spend way too much on a ring that puts you in dire financial straits, only to later have to temptation to pawn it because you need the money. Rather, 20 years down the road, you can look a the (smaller) ring and remember where you came from and what you've been through together.

The wedding is a similar story--a wedding does not a marriage make. Too many want the wedding to be the climax of their lives, when it's really just the first step up the mountain.

15 years and counting here...

[Mac McQuinn]

Personally I really dislike Diamonds/Stones altogether and would never marry someone based on a material item. I feel a marriage should be started w/ two identical gold bands, no stones whatsoever and only if you can afford it. The bands would be smooth and plane, purposely this way to signify only their love for each other. The rings would only signify a marriage to anyone else, not a indication of wealth.

Good luck,

Mac

[Orion Henderson]

Yeah, size matters, even if your love isn't materialistic. My wife is not materialistic, and she would have married me no matter what I proposed with. But I felt that I had to get around 1 karat with the best color and clarity I could find-maybe more for social pressures than any other reason.

I did a lot of research on diamonds first and went with Blue Nile. There you can filter the stone based on the categories to get what you want and what you want to spend. Then you can pick the band. Worked for me, got me more ring for the money. I did not, and would not, go into debt for a ring.

If I could do it over, and I wouldn't, I would NOT buy any diamond. The diamond trade is just so incredibly corrupt. But that's just me. I would get a fantastically beautiful band and some other kind of stone.

[Darius Ferlas]

If that were the number of sheep her family demanded for her I'd kinda understand, but you could probably bargain. I think 50 sheep for a decent looking gal would be a fair price. After all we all want the best bang for the buck (no pun intended). Alternatively oxen could be considered. 10 sheep for one ox, 20 for the aforementioned bison.

But the requirement coming from the finance to be would be a little worrisome to me.

Have you considered a prenup?

[Belinda Barfield]

If that were the number of sheep her family demanded for her I'd kinda understand, but you could probably bargain. I think 50 sheep for a decent looking gal would be a fair price. After all we all want the best bang for the buck (no pun intended). Alternatively oxen could be considered. 10 sheep for one ox, 20 for the aforementioned bison.

But the requirement coming from the finance to be would be a little worrisome to me.

Have you considered a prenup?

Thank you, sir, for the best laugh I have had all day. How many sheep is she worth if she cooks and cleans?

[Dan Hintz]

How many sheep is she worth if she cooks and cleans?
Well if she doesn't cook and clean, why not just marry the sheep and be done with it?

[John Coloccia]

Well if she doesn't cook and clean, why not just marry the sheep and be done with it?

Too....easy.....must.....resist.......

[Rick Potter]

Gotta agree with the majority. Hope you are getting the message. Go slow, verrrry slow, and be sure.

I never proposed to my wife. Somehow, one day I found myself looking at diamond rings with her. Note, she knew I made $100 a week, and we went to a discount store called Gemco to look. She knowingly picked out a ring with a flaw in it, which cost $75 total. She helped decorate the church hall with her friends, and her mom made the cake. Wedding was in 1964. 46TH anniversary coming up in April.

By the way, I wanted to buy her a better ring later, when we could afford it, but she would have nothing to do with it.

Wishing you luck,

Rick Potter

[Mike OMelia]

I too must resist. And I will. But I will say this. If she is saying that now, she is going to say that about everything in the future. You are going to spend the next 10 years of your life going broke and working your fingers to the bone to make here happy. You will end up on Prozac and Zanax. And, she will never be happy because really, that's her job. And it's your job to make you happy. If you both do a good job of making yourselves happy, then you will be happy together. Sorry, but I would hold off on getting married. Do this: Go look at houses and cars together. See what makes her "happy". Watch her reaction very carefully. My guess is you will find yourself looking at things you won't be able to afford for at least 10-15 years.

[Belinda Barfield]

Well if she doesn't cook and clean, why not just marry the sheep and be done with it?

Oh Dan, the answer is simple and goes back to the initial the idea of the exchage of sheep for a decent looking woman. A sheep will look ridiculous in a cocktail dress, and even more so in a wedding dress (which is whole other financial dicussion). In addition, it is virtually impossible for a sheep to walk in high heels. Add to that the fact that you would have to buy two pairs of shoes for every occasion, rather than one, and you will see that a woman is still the better choice.

[Bonnie Campbell]

I got a diamond engagement ring my first marriage. When the first was trying to woo me back from our separation (with another diamond ring) the song 'This Diamond Ring' started playing on the radio. And really, they don't mean anything if the match isn't right to begin with. My second marriage I was given a pink sapphire. THAT ring means more to me than diamonds ever will. Material things mean very little in the long run, but unfortunately women are being raise with grandiose ideas (watch Bridezilla). Now if that show isn't guaranteed to turn men off of marriage...... LOL

[Dan Hintz]

In addition, it is virtually impossible for a sheep to walk in high heels.
I think if you're marrying it, rubber galoshes are more appropriate than high heels, no?

[David G Baker]

Belinda,
You have done it again with your great sense of humor. Glad I wasn't drinking coffee or my computer monitor would be covered with it. Never having dated a sheep I can't speak to it but I have dated a few dogs. (couldn't resist)
Dan H is right up there with the humor as well.

[Belinda Barfield]

Belinda,
You have done it again with your great sense of humor. Glad I wasn't drinking coffee or my computer monitor would be covered with it. Never having dated a sheep I can't speak to it but I have dated a few dogs. (couldn't resist)
Dan H is right up there with the humor as well.

Thank you David. Dan, on the other hand took things to a whole new level. I have tried to help him but it's a good thing he is already married as he is completely hopeless. He doesn't seem to understand that galoshes are for the courting period. After you marry you have to put her in shoes in order for her to be accepted by the other sheep wives.

I do sincerely apologize to the OP for having gone so off track in a thread that is about a serious subject. Sunny, you seem to have already made up you mind about the course you wish to pursue so I hope you aren't too upset with us.

[Dan Hintz]

I do sincerely apologize to the OP for having gone so off track in a thread that is about a serious subject.
Belinda, he's getting married... if he doesn't have a sense of humor by now, he's doomed!

[Mark P. Miller]

When I first read this, I thought "Of course ring size matters. What's the point of buying her a ring if it doesn't fit and she can't wear it?"

And then I realized that this was about something altogether different.

My wife has no diamond. She doesn't want one either.

[Darius Ferlas]

In addition, it is virtually impossible for a sheep to walk in high heels.
So much to teach everybody, so little time:)
Sheep can definitely walk in high heels.
I'm not posting the proof, so just google sheep in high heels

[Brian Ashton]

Just my 2 cents...

Far far too many people get divorces before they've even paid off the cost of the engagement and wedding... If expense is a worthy status symbol that in some bazaar way demonstrates love and devotion then there is something seriously wrong with that motivation.

[Belinda Barfield]

So much to teach everybody, so little time:)
Sheep can definitely walk in high heels.
I'm not posting the proof, so just google sheep in high heels

I'm just going to have to take your word on this, I'm too afraid to google that . . .

[Mike OMelia]

... A sheep will look ridiculous in a cocktail dress, and even more so in a wedding dress.

Not so to a lonely sheep herder in galoshes.

Mike

PS: Bet the OP is wondering how this ended up like this...

[Dan Mages]

My wife's engagement ring is .7ct I bought smaller to get better quality. I looked at it compared to a 1ct and you can barely see the difference.

Dan

[Van Huskey]

Everyone has a different story and a different situation, my first wife got a .5 caret SI 1 stone in a pretty but nothing special setting, I ask she said yes and loved her ring. I was just out of grad school and I spent what I could.

14 years later after being divorced for 7 years I had a "girl friend" of 6 years who was basically my wife but I had been reluctant to tie the knot again. I had taken the usually mild and good-natured ribbing for her about when we were going to get married. She talked about rings often and mentioned size etc and I joked (semi-serious) about how the longer I waited the larger the stone "requirement" got. When I decided to ask her we actually went stone shopping, picked one out and she (being an artist) designed the ring and we had it made. I was able to surprise her since the ring was finished earlier than the jeweler had told her... :) We were on vacation at the time and I ask her, on one knee, in the National Gallery of Art in DC. I won't replay the speech, which I remember almost word for word but the gist was here surrounded by centuries of the most beautiful things man has ever created I am struck by the fact they all pale in comparison to the beauty I see before me, will you be my wife? She would have married me without the speech and with a ring from a Cracker Jack box or none for that matter but I gave her what I was ABLE to give her at the time, just like my first wife. Part of this is based on my idea that an engagement ring and the diamond(s) in it are forever. I am happy to buy more jewelry BUT that ring and that stone is THE ring to symbolize that bond made on that day, I therefore did all I could without borrowing or destabilizing our finances.

I placed a 3.19 caret round brilliant, VVS1, H color with an AGA Class 1A cut on here finger. Apart from a few German cars and my homes I have never paid more for any single thing in my life. However, no possession has ever brought me more joy than that ring, because it has brought her more joy than I can express, it is not A thing it is THE thing in her life. Our relationship would be no different had it been 1/10th the size or 1/100th the cost. The point is I did what I could and she appreciates it ever day. She fell in love with me when I was darn near broke after my divorce and she loves me today when things are better and she has never once ask for anything nor expected anything we could not afford at the time.

Does size matter, well sure it does, just ask anyone here if they would rather have a 200sf shop or a 2,000sf shop. The key is when a spouse or potential spouse expects the other to mortgage their life for something that is not a necessity, that is the sign that there is trouble ahead.

Oh and my decision on the size had absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact she is 12 years younger and a heck of a lot hotter than I am... :D

Finally. just to prove she really is vastly superficial let me tell you about her birthday this year. She is difficult to buy for and on top of it I am building and equipping my new shop (my turn for the mad money) so we have been saving. For her birthday I baked a cake and got $13 worth of Princess birthday favors (pink balloons, plates, napkins and a tiara) at the local dollar store and had it out for her when she came down stairs that morning. I knew she would smile but she has been thrilled for 3 weeks and can't stop talking about it. We still have the balloons all over our great room, she refuses to throw them out.

[Joe Angrisani]

Van wrote: "For her birthday I baked a cake and got $13 worth of Princess birthday favors (pink balloons, plates, napkins and a tiara) at the local dollar store and had it out for her when she came down stairs that morning."
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
I think we have a winner for the "What Color or Design should Van Huskey paint his Delta 28-350 Refurb Bandsaw?" thread....

[Dan Hintz]

Van,

Amy's setting was also custom designed, and I was able to trick her into thinking it wouldn't be done before we left for a 2-week cruise. Of course, I picked it up a few days before, and I was able to surprise her on bended knee 30 minutes before the first dress dinner. Between tears of joy, the only thing she could say was a word that means my parents weren't married when they had me.

Oh, and I got her a single rose from the on-board florist ;)

[Steve Bistritz]

I was 18 when I proposed to my wife - she was 20. Engagement ring? I didn't have money for bus fare to her house. There was no ring. I was very young and thought I knew what I wanted. I was right. We celebrated our 45th anniversary a few days ago. May I say, respectfully, if you're confused enough to ask for our opinions, you're not ready to propose. Give yourself some time to let the confusion clear itself up - or not.

Just my 2 cents.....my EX did the same thing....and I didn't know any better...take your time my friend...don't let anyone push you.....it will affect the rest of your life....its that important.

[Tim Morton]

i would keep the ring and trade the girl....but thats just me. ;)

[Greg Peterson]

Listening to NPR this past weekend, some college grad called in to the financial planning program to ask about his student loans and his recent engagement ring purchase. Two student loans @ roughly $20k each (one at 6% the other at 3%). Then he went out and bought an engagement ring on a zero interest card (well, the first 18 months IIRC) to add to his debt.

When the host asked him how much he paid for the engagement ring I about choked. He paid $8,500.

This kid is looking at roughly $50k in debt and he is only in his early 20's. That is a mighty deep hole to start from.

Just my two cents worth.

[Van Huskey]

Van,

Amy's setting was also custom designed, and I was able to trick her into thinking it wouldn't be done before we left for a 2-week cruise. Of course, I picked it up a few days before, and I was able to surprise her on bended knee 30 minutes before the first dress dinner. Between tears of joy, the only thing she could say was a word that means my parents weren't married when they had me.

Oh, and I got her a single rose from the on-board florist ;)

Almost the exact same situation I was in. We were going to be gone for about two seeks as well, up through DC to Montreal for the F1 race then back down to Indianapolis for the F1 race there a week later. I didn't even know it was going to be finished until 3 days before we left.

Funny thing I didn't mention is she did NOT say yes, she was so stunned she completely forgot what was going on. To this day she still swears she said yes... In any event she did marry me, so I guess the "I do" is all that matters.

[David Hostetler]

I'm sorry to say it, but the materialistic point of view that she is expressing here is, well... a sign of things to come. What's going to happen if say she wants the fancier car than you can afford? Finances put an awful lot of stress on a marriage, and her attitude toward the ring certainly shows where her heart is in regards to money. I would say don't propose to this one. At least not yet. Give her some time to mature in regards to money and possessions, and if she doesn't, get out and find one that will work with you as a partner in all things in life, not against you as an individual striving for everything they can get... Just my $.02 worth, filtered through a lot of painful experience...

FWIW, LOML's "real" rings are family heirlooms, top quality, and .7 ct. She also has a set of the finest CZs that money can buy from a very high end designer for formal occasions when she wants to be seen with a BIG rock on her hand... I am sure she would like a set of bigger real diamonds, but then again, we self funded our wedding, and honeymoon... Those memories, and time spent on relationships is worth far more than a squeezed piece of coal on her hand...

[Bill Cunningham]

My wife would have been happy with any ring I gave her.
We're coming up on 42 years now.
Choose carefully my friend. It will affect the rest of your lives.
I'm not just talking rings here either!:cool:

[Rod Upfold]

I had just started a new job and didn't have a lot of money. I wanted to get her a ring and was traveling the 300 miles by train, I had to switch trains to go north and in the train station there was a place selling rings. I checked them and selected a ring that could be adjusted to any size. The ring cost me $3.00 and we will be celebrating 35 years this April.

[Ruhi Arslan]

Who knows, she said it not big enough. And she even implied the size is sort of matters..
I am not gonna go there...:D
I had a ring custom made based on a sketch I made from scratch with a two carat stone surrounded with sapphire and rubies. I flew overseas to propose my now wife at Amsterdam. She loves the ring but doesn't wear it except in special occasions because it attracts too much attention at the NYC metro, she says. I don't think she ever cared of the size of the stone.
If the size of the stone ever to become of an issue, I would sit back and reconsider. :rolleyes:

[Mike Cruz]

Sunny, I'm a little late to the party, and likely too late to give you any advice that will effect this particular situation since you said the ring was to be given on Valentine's Day. But my two cents is my two cents...and here it is.

When I decided to get a ring, I thought about long term. What size diamond would carry my wife through her lifetime. Not just now, but when she is later in her years. My wife would have been happier with something smaller, thinking that we could always get something bigger later, if she wanted it, or we could afford it. To me, the stone had meaning. It can't be replaced later. It is the one I chose to give to her. Not one to be replaced later. Luckily for me, my wife is not one for gawdy big. She is refined and elegant. She is also down to earth and hands on. So, a 3 carat diamond would not have suited her...neither her personality nor her lifestyle. She is an attorney and a horse owner/rider. She mingles with in the big leagues at work, and gets as dirty as a 5 year old in a mud puddle.

So, for her, size needed to be, well, fitting. We went with 3/4 carat. Where more money went was into the quality of the diamond. She would have been happy with a rubber band. I would not have been. I wanted the most I could possibly afford. I'm glad I did. That said, I took her with me to the jewelers. WE picked out the stone. WE picked out the setting. That ring symbolizes what WE worked on together. I love seeing it on her hand. She loves seeing that I love seeing it. That is what matters.

Not sure how I would have reacted to her saying what I picked wasn't...enough... I'm not passing judgement on your girlfriend. She may like larger. She might be happy to sacrafice quality for size. Some people would rather have a near perfect 1/4 carat diamond...because it is near perfect, and THEY know it. Some people would rather have a flawed 1 carat stone, because of the initial image of it...not caring about what the difference that they can't see. To each his/her own.

I wish you the best.

[Belinda Barfield]

Am I the only one who wants to know how the story ends? Proposal? Acceptance? Wedding date?

[Greg Portland]

I have a couple of thoughts regarding ring -shopping- (not whether or not you should buy a huge ring):

1) The setting for a diamond and style of cut will greatly affect the visual "size" of the stone. In other words, a 1ct stone can appear to be the same size as a 2ct stone depending on the setting.
2) Diamonds are a commodity and most jewelers can find virtually any stone that you want.
3) I had a very good experience with Whiteflash.com; Bluenile & Costco are other good stores to investigate. Most mall jewelers & chains should be avoided.
4) Start with a budget number and work backward from there. You can get a larger stone by caring less about color & cut.
5) Color is not as important on smaller stones (very hard to detect once it's placed in a setting)
6) Depending on the woman, an actual diamond is not a requirement. There are other unique rings & styles that could be preferred. Also, artificial diamonds & other clear-stone options are out there. Take her out shopping and have her point out the styles, shapes, and sizes that she likes. My wife thought she wanted a 1ct ring until she had one on her finger & thought that it was bulky.
7) A jewelry cleaner will make any ring look better.

[Mike Cruz]

No, Belinda, you aren't. Inquiry minds want to know...

[Jeff Mohr]

We need a Paul Harvey "Rest of the Story" update.....

[Mike Cruz]

I hope it was a..."Good...day". ;) :)

Jeff, you know, I grew up listening to Paul Harvey. Not that I cared one iota to hear him, but my mom always had him on. I wish I could have enjoyed him more.

[Jim Koepke]

This reminds me of two things.

First a woman I almost married. She was kind of like this. I think I am a better man and my life has been much more rewarding without her.

Second is a story about a husband and wife sitting around the table one Sunday morning, drinking coffee and reading the paper…

The man sniffles.

The wife asks, "are you OK?"

He says, "yes I am fine."

A few moments later he sniffles again.

She asks, "are you sure you are not coming down with something."

He answers, "I am fine, I was just reminiscing."

She gleefully asks, "Oh, what about?"

He quietly says, "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car and pointed his shot gun at me and said, 'young man either you are going to marry my daughter or you are going to spend the next ten years in prison.'"

She chuckles and says, "Oh yeah, I remember daddy doing that."

He lowers his paper, tears are welling up in his eyes and starting to roll down his cheeks as he says, "I would have gotten out today."

jtk