It was a dark and stormy night...

[Jim Koepke]

Who has not heard that line?
But, who knows where it is from?

It was first published in the book Paul Clifford in 1830 written by English author Edward Bulwer-Lytton.

A few other lines he wrote are familiar to most of us:

"The pen is mightier than the sword."

"The great unwashed."

"Pursuit of the almighty dollar."

Of course, most people do not know that these lines have context. In the case of the dark and stormy night...


It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

That is quite a run on sentence by today's standards. Some in the English department of San Jose State University felt it deserved a contest. So whoever can write the worst opening line to the worst of all possible novels claims $250.

Here is this years winners and honorable mentions:

http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2010.htm

Actually, this year's winner is actually a published writer and has two more books soon to be published.

She won with this line:


For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil.

jtk

[Belinda Barfield]

"For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil. "

Sigh . . . that has to be the most romatic thing I've ever read. Why, my heart fair races at the thought. A good thirsty gerbil is so terribly hard to come by these days. Each time I visit PetSmart I stop to gaze at the little gerbil cages, just hoping that one day a thirsty gerbil will be waiting for me. Alas, each and every time the gerbils just ignore the water bottle and seem content to munch happily away on worthless gerbil chow.

[Marty Paulus]

MMMM Dark and Stormy. Haven't had one of those in a while. Goslings black seal rum and ginger beer!

[Rod Sheridan]

Bah...............Everyone knows that "It was a dark and stormy night..." was penned by the great Dogstovsky (Snoopy).:D

It was pleasing to note that some of my writings on SMC weren't in that list.....Regards, Rod.

[John Pratt]

I sat in total darkness except for the warm glow of the computer screen, quietly reading the musings of fellow creekers as they wandered hither and fro with advice and warning concerning the newest purchase of tools, the days latest news, and all things related to daily life whilst throwing in humor and pondering the apparent disappearance of Mitchell Andrus.

[Tom Winship]

When I was a kid and we would go camping, we would sit around the fire and my Dad would tell scary stories. One of his went "It was a dark and stormy nite. Around the campfire stood robbers great and robbers small. The captain spake unto his trusted lieutenant, "Antonio, tell us a story". Antonio spake as follows: It was a dark and stormy nite.................."
Repeat until the group finally catches on. Have not thought of that until Jim's thread. Thanks for the memories.

[Jim Rimmer]

Thanks for the link, it was hilarious. OR - I sat in my chilly office, having already consumed my daily lunchtime fare of tuna salad and bottled green tea and carefully weighed the titles of the Off Topic Forum as I searched for something of interest to fill my mind until I could return to the heaven that is my woodshop and I came across the link to humorous, intellectual tomfoolery that made me want to laugh, but not out loud, kind of like a Basenji who senses danger and wants to bark but can't.

[Stephen Tashiro]

When I was a child, one of my mother's jokes to us children was to begin to say an endless circular version of "It was a dark and stormy night". It went like this:

It was a dark and stormy night and a band of robbers was sitting around a campfire. The leader of the band rose and said "Listen, boys, and I'll tell ye a tale! It was a dark and stormy night and a band of robbers was sitting around a campfire...

She said this as if it was a very familiar joke and this was a long time before the Snoopy comic strip was in the newspapers. I wonder where and when this joke originated and I wonder if Charles Schultz also heard it when he was a kid.

[David Rinehart]

How about this for using the old line about a dark and stormy night.
Paul Thorn, a very entertaining singer/songwriter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk3WLyVQ9rM

Hope you enjoy. I listen to these vids a lot.
David

[Belinda Barfield]

It was a dark and stormy night. We get them round here a lot, weather not fit for man nor coon. I’d been on the run since Essie May run me out the house with my own shotgun after I stayed out too late goat roping with Mitchell Andrus. I hit route 23 into town . . . a mistake, and I knew it. No one drove route 23. I was ‘bout 2 miles out of town when my old truck blew a head gasket and I knew there was nothing for it but to hoof it the rest of the way. The rain was comin’ down so hard the frogs were drownin’.

Just when I knew I couldn’t go no futher I spotted the Old Mill up the road a piece. I struggled through the mud and stumbled through the door on a gust a wind a hurricane would be proud to call its own. I sank down into a corner and tried to catch my breath. My heart was a racin’ like a Setter’s on point. It finally slowed enough so’s that I could think a mite clearer and that’s when I started to hear the murmurs and rustlings. I sensed that there were others but could feel no evil, and certainly not the vile creature that was Essie Mae. I started to relax a little, believing I was safe. That’s when I heard the voice just over my right shoulder.

“Hey hon, how ‘bout a cup of hot coffee? Special tonight is apple pie.”
:D