I Don't Like Spiders in My Faceshield

[John Hart]

So...I go out to the shop this evening and mount up a big ol' hunk of walnut. Being the safety conscious fellow that I am, I immediately grab my faceshield, put it on, grab my gouge, power up the lathe, and start roughing out my hunk-o-walnut.

A few minutes go by and suddenly, this creature drops down in front of my face and lands on my nose.

I won't bore you with what happened in the following 20 seconds. But I can say with a great amount of certainty, that I will never....ever...like spiders in my faceshield.:)

[David E Keller]

It's a little known fact that they're attracted to lacquer...

[Andy Hoyt]

Mission Accomplished.

Bwa ha ha

[Barry Elder]

Aslo, attracked to anythang that's 90 proof! Hic!

[Ken Fitzgerald]

John....so I gotta ask. How high did you jump as you reached around behind your back...up between your shoulder blades.....over you shoulder ....over the top of your face shield to the bottom of the face shield....grabbing the bottom and rip it off in one motion that looked like a combined kung fu, shot put and bowling motion?:confused:

Did it bite you?

Did you bite it?

[Gary Conklin]

The itsy bitsy spider went down John's snout!:):eek::)

[Steve Schlumpf]

To bad the fly on the wall didn't have a video camera! THAT could have been worth some money!

[Nate Davey]

Powermatic Lathe $2800
Collection of Turning Tools $5000
Rare and Exotic Woods $6000
Seeing an woodturner/artist scream like a girl when he sees a spider in his mask......Priceless

[John Hart]

John....so I gotta ask. How high did you jump as you reached around behind your back...up between your shoulder blades.....over you shoulder ....over the top of your face shield to the bottom of the face shield....grabbing the bottom and rip it off in one motion that looked like a combined kung fu, shot put and bowling motion?:confused:
You were there? :eek:


Did it bite you?
No...he never got the opportunity:)


Did you bite it?

You bet!! Twice. Then I sprayed him with lacquer....then stomped his guts out.:eek:

Andy's Itsy Bitsy Operative didn't stand a chance.(hic:o):)

[John Hart]

Powermatic Lathe $2800
Collection of Turning Tools $5000
Rare and Exotic Woods $6000
Seeing an woodturner/artist scream like a girl when he sees a spider in his mask......Priceless


Oh man!! You guys are fun!!:D

[John Hart]

To bad the fly on the wall didn't have a video camera! THAT could have been worth some money!

When I think about it...I woulda paid money to see it!! :D

[Tom Sherman]

Something like that will make you hurt yourself getting away from it. Glad you weren't hurt.

[Keith Burns]

John, you are a HOOT !!! I am setting here watching you and laughing.

[Bernie Weishapl]

When you said a spider landed on your nose I had visions of gouge hitting the wood flipping it or worse yet catching and the becoming a projectile.

Yep that mouse in the corner still hasn't stopped laughing.:eek::rolleyes::cool:

[Gary Conklin]

Hey John!


http://recollectionbooks.com/bleed/images/BB/spider.gif

[John Keeton]

Gary, that is just too cool!! Now Hart is going to have nightmares - he was just gettin' over this thing - and you had to go and do a visual!!:eek:

[John Hart]

:eek: EEEEK!!!! :D

[Brian Brown]

Boy John, I certainly hope you are not on your neighborhoods welcome wagon. It's pretty bad when a new neighbor drops by to borrow a cup o' sawdust and you treat him like that. :( I woudn't blame the poor guy if he never spoke to you again. A neighbor like that doesn't take up much space is not very noisy and helps keep the insect population down, you should be ashamed of your behavior as his neighbor, (and as a man, "girly scream :eek:, girly scream :eek:")! :D

[Karl Card]

I dont like spydes but i have to say that it is the webs that I hate more than the spyder... clean up, wait a few minutes and clean em again...

That is why I cant wait to paint my basement white.... yes it will not deter all of them but most of them.

Or is that rodents. anyways we used to have to put a 8 inch wide solid white strip around the stockroom if there was going to be edibles in it. i was always told it was to keep the bugs away.

[Joe Shinall]

Thanks for this post. I needed a good laugh today and got my week's share of it. :D

[Ken Fitzgerald]

and as a man, "girly scream :eek:, girly scream :eek:"! :D
\
Brian.....you gotta take into consideration who you are dealing with here. We aren't talking Superman or even Macho Man...but John Hart....Horsey Hater...... a man who denied his own two daughters the affection that one can get from interacting daily with their own equine friends. The poor girls had them named.....out of respect they were gonna name one Trigger and the other one Buttermilk. How much more patriotic can one get. Along comes Dad.......says if one horse shows up in his pasture he and another Creeker will make horseburger out of it and have a Creeker gathering. You don't have to have much imagination to conclude what was on the intended menu.

Of course we could also be dealing with another Moderator who we have hard photographic evidence........whisper......curtains in his shop.....think about ....talk about girly.....curtains in his shop. I always wanted to ask him....Chris Padilla.....how often do you wash your curtains and do you iron them before putting them back up?

[Karl Card]

this thread is getting real deep.... gotta find my hip boots..

[Andy Hoyt]

Fitz - you forgot another one of those weird moderator types. That Schlumpf guy has shag carpeting in his shop. Oy!

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Fitz - you forgot another one of those weird moderator types. That Schlumpf guy has shag carpeting in his shop. Oy!


You should talk Hoyt! What did you name your lathe? Was it Melba? ...Mable.....

I'll give you credit though you had the courage to tell your wife you were out in the shop dancing with her and drinking Moxie....

[Andy Hoyt]

You leave Janine out of this. She and I have an understanding.

[John Hart]

I don't recall any "girly screams" but I do recall an outburst of some well-established but latent "Naval Language" coming out of me.;)

Oh..by the way Brian...Good neighbors don't land on your nose while you're turning. ;):D

[Michael James]

We have black widows and the brown recluse, so I hang my "stuff" above where they would nest. The spiders that roam are harmless daddy longlegs. Im sure the startle factor would have been the equivalent of about 3-4 cups of coffee.......... unless you have a phobia!:cool:

[John Hart]

....unless you have a phobia!:cool:

Yes...that's probably it Michael...although, spiders in general don't bother me. This would have to be a very specific fear....like

Shielded Proboscular Vortexial Arachonophobia ~ The fear of spiders falling from your faceshield and landing on your nose while woodturning.

It's a little-known and rare condition.

[Rob Wachala Jr]

So...I go out to the shop this evening and mount up a big ol' hunk of walnut. Being the safety conscious fellow that I am, I immediately grab my faceshield, put it on, grab my gouge, power up the lathe, and start roughing out my hunk-o-walnut.

A few minutes go by and suddenly, this creature drops down in front of my face and lands on my nose.

I won't bore you with what happened in the following 20 seconds. But I can say with a great amount of certainty, that I will never....ever...like spiders in my faceshield.:)


Now I'm going to be paranoid every time I go out to the shop and put on my face shield :). I am more paranoid about ear protection though. I never forget to shake or blow them out before I put them on.

[Ken Fitzgerald]

I am more paranoid about ear protection though. I never forget to shake or blow them out before I put them on.

John's the expert....so let's ask him.

John would Rob's phobia be considered....Earholeic Vortexial Arachnophobia?:confused:

[John Hart]

John's the expert....so let's ask him.

John would Rob's phobia be considered....Earholeic Vortexial Arachnophobia?:confused:

Well..that's pretty close Ken...But I'm afraid that Rob's condition is a bit more common. In fact, it is so common that they've named it Khanophobia in reference to the Star Trek Episode, "The Wrath of Khan", where the crazed genetically-engineered villain, Khan, places lethal alien earwigs in the helmets of two Star Fleet Officers. This condition is also known as "The Chekov Syndrome".

I suppose, if Rob only suffers this while woodturning, it could be isolated as Vortexial Khanophobia, but I think we would have to conduct experiments on him to find out.;)

[Rob Wachala Jr]

Experiments! No way buddy I'm outa here...

http://tree-spun.com/rob/CetiEel.jpg

..Runs out to shop.

[Jim Silva]

...I don't recall any "girly screams" but I do recall an outburst of some well-established but latent "Naval Language" coming out of me...

"Naval Language" at a pitch similar to that of those heard when the ice cream truck comes around or those heard when a barbie doll is stolen by a dastardly big brother are still considered "Girlie screams".

Having once had a similar occurrence involving a face shield and a stink bug (western conifer seed bug) that I mistook for a wasp, I've come to learn that what I vocalized was NOT a girlie scream but a Comanche War cry and the hither-to unknown fact that I could, upon the dire necessity of having both hands full, kick myself in my own forehead.

The cub scouts at my turning demonstration were duly impressed with both my knowledge of Native American battle traditions and the flexibility and accuracy of my kungfu skills.

[Jim Underwood]

I won't bore you with what happened in the following 20 seconds. But I can say with a great amount of certainty, that I will never....ever...like spiders in my faceshield.:)

Oh. Please do tell. I'm quite certain it won't be boring.:D

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Oh. Please do tell. I'm quite certain it won't be boring.:D

Without a doubt!:rolleyes:

[John Hart]

Well...ok....without any embellishments...I was concentrating on getting a piece of walnut rounded....and I thought I saw a big blurry thing...so I kinda held up with the gouge to focus on the big blurry thing. He landed on my nose and looked like the size of Mt Everest....I reflexively hit myself in the face with my gouge and fist...then ripped the facesheild off...then went nutso shaking my head and doing a Three Stooges Curly move with my hands on my face and hair...he fell to the floor...into the shavings....but he was a big hairy sucker...easy to spot....scampering through the shavings...I kicked the pile of shavings which blew him under the lathe....where I am sure he is plotting his next attack.

Ok...so there's the story....minus the girly screams.:D

[Allen Neighbors]

I would have really messed up my shorts. I hate Spiders of any kind, no matter where they are. And within 3 feet of me is just the same as if they were crawling up my leg... too close!

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Okay......Let's have a vote.


How many think John was just having withdrawal symptoms from his last lacquer experience?


Hold those hands up high so I can get a count.

:rolleyes:

[John Hart]

ooooh...look at the colors! :)

[Brian Brown]

Oh..by the way Brian...Good neighbors don't land on your nose while you're turning. ;):D

Maybe he just couldn't get your attention by tugging on your pant leg. Maybe he just has some personal space issues. Whatever the case, perhaps some joint counseling sessions are in order for both of you. :p Remember, you are bigger than he is. This whole episode reminds me of a similar situation with my wife. I wrote about it here.

http://www.sawmillcreek.org/showthread.php?t=107578

Possibly my wife could join you and your friend in group therapy. :D If you read to the end of the above thread, you'll see why her friend the grub won't be joining you. Whatever the case, it sounds as if you need to man up! :D:D:D

[John Hart]

I'm not sure I like your tone Mr. Brown. I think I might join Tamara in that revenge thing.;) How long does she hold a grudge?:p

[Tom Sherman]

Okay......Let's have a vote.


How many think John was just having withdrawal symptoms from his last lacquer experience?


Hold those hands up high so I can get a count.

:rolleyes:

TSk Tsk Tsk...Me thinks Ken is still foggy from the results of the Andy Hoyt siighting the other day. He'll never be able to tell that I am holding up both hands.

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Tsk....Tsk....Tsk...... If I can't see'em to countem' Why are you holding them up Tom?:confused::D

[Andy Hoyt]

..... He'll never be able to tell that I am holding up both hands. tsk tsk yourself.

No self respecting jar head would ever surrender.

Go to the back of the line, Tom.

[Michael James]

ooooh...look at the colors! :)

Excellent John! Now tell us which is the most frightening factor of this memory? Was it something you saw? Perhaps there was the slightest of sounds that alerted you? or maybe, the feeling of the little critter on your face? Because if you think about that, you will, sense that there is a key element in this whole episode, which is obviously a 1 time learning..... now, and in the days and weeks to come you may even, probably, notice how this experience begins to influence your vigilance in your environment..but maybe, and I hope it's true... that this particular little guy's species only exists in a woodturner's shop, but more than likely they would feel just as comfortable housed in the visor of your car, or in the blinds, but we all hope NEVER in your shoes, especially your favorite slippers. Absolutely not a familiar critter in your area.... or not?:eek:

[David DeCristoforo]

Reminds me of when I was about ten and my old man was roto-tilling the "front forty". He was always kinda macho... you know the "strong quiet type" that everyone was a little bit scared of. Anyway there he was tilling away and being all strong and quiet and there was this tarantula crawling up his leg. When I pointed it out, he must have went ten feet off the ground, arms windmilling like crazy, slapping at his legs and whooping away. Somehow, he never seemed quite so intimidating after that....

[Tamara Brown]

I'm not sure I like your tone Mr. Brown. I think I might join Tamara in that revenge thing.;) How long does she hold a grudge?:p

John, I hold a grudge a long, long time. If he gets out of hand with this "girley scream" thing. Just let me know...we women stick together!! ;)

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Me thinks John is guilty by association now.

[Tom Sherman]

Tsk....Tsk....Tsk...... If I can't see'em to countem' Why are you holding them up Tom?:confused::D
I drank some MOXIE once and didn't understand the question...


tsk tsk yourself.

No self respecting jar head would ever surrender.

Go to the back of the line, Tom.
Who's surrendering, I was just padding the count...trying to support the Honorable Mr Hart....

[John Hart]

Just let me know...we women stick together!! ;)

Ummm...gosh...umm...thanks Tamara. Excuse me...Project Runway is on in a couple of minutes and they're going to make dresses out of old beer cans. I gotta go. :p