Dave MacArthur
06-10-2010, 9:37 PM
Admit it... we LOVE searching for a great deal on a tool! The daily search for that tool deal is a good part of the enjoyment hey? We're like primitive cave-men, on the hunt!
Thesis: Our ancient cave-man instincts are subliminally driving us to perform a daily Hunting Ritual. We can't help it, we're forced to it by a zillion years of evolution. It's not our fault! We MUST find that Great Prey to sustain the tribe, that Grizzly to keep us fed and fat for the coming winter, that grey beast whose 5HP carcass we'll preserve and honor forever...
We get up in the morning, and sniff the air--arrgh-arrrgh!-- We check for temperature and moisture content, are our tools safe? Will there be rain, do we need to protect our blades and knives and other sharp things? How's the heat--is it a good day to Hunt? I mean work in the shop? We look over our stuff, and gradually the Need grows in us... we MUST HUNT! Our larders will soon be empty, we must be sure they're filled--and that spot over there looks empty without a Big Band saw. Our families are relying upon us, we can't let them down, the members of our tribe must be supplied!
We guzzle down our ritual beverage of roasted tree nuts, and we race back inside to begin the Hunt! We fire up our hunting tools, and within seconds Craigs List appears upon our screens--the Great Tool Deal is out there, lurking in the grass, hiding, waiting for us to discover it! If we can catch some big prey, find that Great Tool Deal, we'll be able to build shelter and safety and Nice Trade Goods for our tribe! We stalk the sparse and flat grounds of Craigs List, but it is barren... No big prey there, nothing big can live there hidden for long before other hunters find it, only some small rodents, not enough, we must preserve our spear for the Big One, and finding it we must race quickly and fearlessly to the attack, thrusting forth with our wallet to Make the Kill! We leave the plains and tall grasses of The List, and venture into the Jungle of Ebay, a more dangerous place with other predators who hunt us, but still teeming with Prey for the clever hunter ...must...find...tool deal...
And as soon as we catch that great tool deal, we bring it home and dance around the fire of SMC, glorying in the praise of the other Tribe Members--"You are a Great Hunter!" they say, "Well done, you have saved your family from sure deprivation with such a successful hunt!" they support us with, "You Suck!" they congratulate our Hunting Prowess.
But soon, days only, we feel the Need coming upon us again... the eternal need of the hunt. Modern day cave-men, our atavistic instincts are only sublimated and vicariously satisfied in The Hunt...
Am I wrong? Comments Please! ;)
Thesis: Our ancient cave-man instincts are subliminally driving us to perform a daily Hunting Ritual. We can't help it, we're forced to it by a zillion years of evolution. It's not our fault! We MUST find that Great Prey to sustain the tribe, that Grizzly to keep us fed and fat for the coming winter, that grey beast whose 5HP carcass we'll preserve and honor forever...
We get up in the morning, and sniff the air--arrgh-arrrgh!-- We check for temperature and moisture content, are our tools safe? Will there be rain, do we need to protect our blades and knives and other sharp things? How's the heat--is it a good day to Hunt? I mean work in the shop? We look over our stuff, and gradually the Need grows in us... we MUST HUNT! Our larders will soon be empty, we must be sure they're filled--and that spot over there looks empty without a Big Band saw. Our families are relying upon us, we can't let them down, the members of our tribe must be supplied!
We guzzle down our ritual beverage of roasted tree nuts, and we race back inside to begin the Hunt! We fire up our hunting tools, and within seconds Craigs List appears upon our screens--the Great Tool Deal is out there, lurking in the grass, hiding, waiting for us to discover it! If we can catch some big prey, find that Great Tool Deal, we'll be able to build shelter and safety and Nice Trade Goods for our tribe! We stalk the sparse and flat grounds of Craigs List, but it is barren... No big prey there, nothing big can live there hidden for long before other hunters find it, only some small rodents, not enough, we must preserve our spear for the Big One, and finding it we must race quickly and fearlessly to the attack, thrusting forth with our wallet to Make the Kill! We leave the plains and tall grasses of The List, and venture into the Jungle of Ebay, a more dangerous place with other predators who hunt us, but still teeming with Prey for the clever hunter ...must...find...tool deal...
And as soon as we catch that great tool deal, we bring it home and dance around the fire of SMC, glorying in the praise of the other Tribe Members--"You are a Great Hunter!" they say, "Well done, you have saved your family from sure deprivation with such a successful hunt!" they support us with, "You Suck!" they congratulate our Hunting Prowess.
But soon, days only, we feel the Need coming upon us again... the eternal need of the hunt. Modern day cave-men, our atavistic instincts are only sublimated and vicariously satisfied in The Hunt...
Am I wrong? Comments Please! ;)