Ron Taylor
04-02-2003, 12:38 PM
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and
says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "'Bout whut?"
Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is
carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?"
"Jes' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"
"Shoot dang, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!"
"OK. Ummmmm...five?"
An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here-muh house is on fahr!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"
Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or
more?
Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911-operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right
away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.
" The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak
Street and you pick her up there?"
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
Documentaries
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas. If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a
couple gets divorced, they're still cousins.
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink,"
and the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead.
Two fellars wuza fishin' on Lake Eufaula in Alabama. The fish wuza bitin' like crazy. One of the fellars retched over and marked an "X" on the side of the boat.
"Whutcha doin' that fer?", asked the other redneck.
"So's we'll know where to come back to".
"You'rna idiot... don'tcha know this is a RENTED boat?"
Bubba wuza'tellin' JimBob that he'da fahred BillyJoe out on the barn buildin' projeck cuz BillyJoe wuza wastin' nails.
"How'zat?", axed JimBob.
"Ever now'n then he'd throw a nail away, asayin' the head wuz on the wrong end".
"Sounds rite t'me", said JimBob.
"You'rna idiot to", said Bubba... "Them nails are fer the other side of the barn!"
Two office workers were having a conference. Occasionally the host would get up, go to the window and yell, "GREEN SIDE UP!!". After a few of these interruptions, the guest had to ask, "Why are you going to the window, yelling, 'Green side up'"?
Replied the host, "I have two Arkies outside laying sod".
A Georgia goodoleboy called 911 and told the operator that there was one of them Talibans, out on his front porch, dead. She said, "Make sure he's really dead". After a short pause, a shotgun blast was heard, then, "Yessum.. he's dead".
says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "'Bout whut?"
Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is
carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?"
"Jes' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"
"Shoot dang, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!"
"OK. Ummmmm...five?"
An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here-muh house is on fahr!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"
Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or
more?
Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911-operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right
away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.
" The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak
Street and you pick her up there?"
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
Documentaries
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas. If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a
couple gets divorced, they're still cousins.
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink,"
and the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead.
Two fellars wuza fishin' on Lake Eufaula in Alabama. The fish wuza bitin' like crazy. One of the fellars retched over and marked an "X" on the side of the boat.
"Whutcha doin' that fer?", asked the other redneck.
"So's we'll know where to come back to".
"You'rna idiot... don'tcha know this is a RENTED boat?"
Bubba wuza'tellin' JimBob that he'da fahred BillyJoe out on the barn buildin' projeck cuz BillyJoe wuza wastin' nails.
"How'zat?", axed JimBob.
"Ever now'n then he'd throw a nail away, asayin' the head wuz on the wrong end".
"Sounds rite t'me", said JimBob.
"You'rna idiot to", said Bubba... "Them nails are fer the other side of the barn!"
Two office workers were having a conference. Occasionally the host would get up, go to the window and yell, "GREEN SIDE UP!!". After a few of these interruptions, the guest had to ask, "Why are you going to the window, yelling, 'Green side up'"?
Replied the host, "I have two Arkies outside laying sod".
A Georgia goodoleboy called 911 and told the operator that there was one of them Talibans, out on his front porch, dead. She said, "Make sure he's really dead". After a short pause, a shotgun blast was heard, then, "Yessum.. he's dead".