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Kent Cori
10-26-2004, 10:01 PM
Okay, this place has been waaaaay too serious lately. It's time for a little fun so here's your chance to join in. Just fill in the rest of this sentence,

You might be a woodworker if...

Here are a couple of thoughts to get us started.

You might be a woodworker if... you drive a '78 Ford Pinto with bald tires and no rear window but have the newest Festool in your shop.

You might be a woodworker if... you're watching a football game with your neighbor who yells, "Nice block!" and the first word that comes to your mind is "plane."

You might be a woodworker if... your wife says, "You know, after five years of collecting these gawdawful expensive tools to make firewood, it looks like you might have a clue about what you're doing out here in the garage."

You get the idea. So what comes to mind for you? :)

John Miliunas
10-26-2004, 10:18 PM
Okay, this place has been waaaaay too serious lately. It's time for a little fun so here's your chance to join in. Just fill in the rest of this sentence,

You might be a woodworker if...



...You buy a pack of gum at the Stop 'n Go and give the clerk a handful of sawdust along with the change in your pocket.

...You get the Sunday paper and automatically pull out the ads for the BB stores and give the rest of it to your significant other.

...You pray for bad weather, so you can work in your shop rather than outside.

...The total $$ amount for the tools on your "Wish List" is just slightly less than the National Debt.

OK...Next. Let's keep 'em coming! :cool:

Bruce Shiverdecker
10-26-2004, 11:20 PM
You're driving down the street - you say WOW ain't that beautiful - and you're not talking about a good looking girl, but a Walnut tree on the ground in someone's yard

Your golf clubs are burried under a mound of woodchips.

You don't have to BUY mulch.

You're turn!

Bruce

Gary Max
10-27-2004, 4:39 AM
Your neighbor won't speak -- because you laughed at him when he wanted to borrow your shop.
You might be married to a woodworker if????????????
Your wife is willing to fight you for first choise of boards you just bought.
Your shop is insured for more than your house is.
You have been caught---stealing a peice of firewood for your lathe --while on vaction

Tyler Howell
10-27-2004, 6:46 AM
If you break for wind fall!

Put a seat belt on your tool box before driving off!

Michael Stafford
10-27-2004, 7:39 AM
You might be a woodworker if the wife complains that the lint filter on the washing machine is always filled with sawdust.

You might be a woodworker if some of your best buddies are Saw Mill Creekers that you have never met.

You might be a woodworker if when you cut yourself in the shop your first concern is to get the blood off the wood.

You might be a woodworker if you know the names of more species of wood than you know the names of TV shows.

Next...

Steve Jenkins
10-27-2004, 8:11 AM
there is a pile of sawdust and shavings where you take off your shoes in the bedroom
The bedroom is the dustiest room in the house ( Yes dear I do blow off all the dust before I come home)
You're always looking for a pencil

Ken Fitzgerald
10-27-2004, 9:01 AM
You might be a woodworker if:


Your wife doesn't like the new Griz bandsaw you bought her for mothersday and then asks "by the way...what's a bandsaw?"

Donnie Raines
10-27-2004, 9:10 AM
When you go to pull your belly button lint out....and you get sawdust.

When you walk out to your shop just to look at the lumber stacked in the corner.

When you are playing golf and you see a tree with some interesting "things" about it....and you think....."hummmmmmmm".........

When you are eating some banna nut bread and you wonder, "I wonder if these nuts really came from a walnut tree?"......

When you cry at the site of wood being fed into a wood chipper(even though your pretty sure the wood was firewood anyhow...)

When you drive past a Woodcraft/Rockler/Paxton and you know you have to keep driving to the inlaws house for a grill out....and you begin to cry(inside anyhow)....

When you finish a project, you step back and say," Now thats cool!"....

Jim Stastny
10-27-2004, 9:34 AM
. . . If you try to convince your wife that those sawdust, footprints on her hall carpet are signs of ghosts in your house.

. . . If you don't own a house with an attached garge, but do own a house with an attached shop.

. . . If your idea of designer colors are Delta grey, DeWalt yellow, and Grizzly green.

Keith Starosta
10-27-2004, 10:15 AM
You're driving down the street - you say WOW ain't that beautiful - and you're not talking about a good looking girl, but a Walnut tree on the ground in someone's yard

Your golf clubs are burried under a mound of woodchips.

You don't have to BUY mulch.

You're turn!

Bruce

LOL!!! Bruce, that hits home in a big, big way......if my wife read that, she'd throw one of these at you.... :rolleyes:

Keith

Mark Singer
10-27-2004, 10:35 AM
Your hot dogs have little notches in them from saw blades

Jason Roehl
10-27-2004, 10:36 AM
...you have almost (or have!) wrecked your vehicle while driving by a tree being cut down or at the sound of a chainsaw.

...you go for a drive when you hear a chainsaw.

...you'll put off getting a few things from the grocery store 5 miles away until it's convenient, but you'll drive 100 miles to a saw mill on a whim.

...you'd eat bologna the rest of your life if you knew that's what it would take to get a shop full of woodworking tools.

Kurt Aebi
10-27-2004, 11:49 AM
You own a 2-Car Garage and have no room for the cars because your WW'ing equipment takes up all the space.

You follow the Davey or Asplundh guys around when they are cleaning around powerlines.

You won't fill your tank with gas because it may take away from your "TOYL" fund.

The first thing you notice about your friends new Million dollar home is how well or shoddy the trim is mitered!

You notice that doorways, trim, etc. are about 1/8" or so out of level or plumb!


NEXT!!!!!!!

Chris Padilla
10-27-2004, 1:40 PM
...you want to break away from your European vacation early with your wife because you want to attend a 6-day class on inlays and marquetry at schurchwoodwork in Santa Barbara, CA! :D

Steve Clardy
10-27-2004, 3:01 PM
Your nose, ears, pockets, and shoes are always full of dust or chips.:eek:
Your easy chair has chips on the floor in front of it, and the cushion is usually dusty.
You are always checking out someone's wood work.
Always storing new wood related ideas in your brain, over filling past capacity.:eek:

Steve:)

Rich Davis
10-27-2004, 5:46 PM
You know you're a woodworker when....

you go on vacation to the Great Lakes region, and have to buy a trailer to haul all the great wood you bought back to Oklahoma.

Jim Taylor
10-27-2004, 6:00 PM
Ya might be a woodwork...

if...

Your buddy says "Wow, look at that knock-out", and all you want is that girl to move so you can get a better look at that tree she is standing under.

You get offended any time your wife suggests we "buy" some furniture, and go sulk out in the shop for hours.

Any time you see a baseball bat crack, you think " I bet I can make a better one..."

Dennis Peacock
10-27-2004, 6:31 PM
The LOYL washes your close and finds MicroMesh sandpaper in every single pocket!

You wish your neighbors tree would die so you can have more wood to turn.

The total dollar amount of tools in your shop out costs BOTH of your vehicles.

The LOYL won't take you furniture shopping any more because you always crawl around on the floor examining how sloppy each piece is made and she escorts you out of the furniture shop swearing that she'll NEVER take you furniture shopping ever again. :rolleyes:

Jack Hogoboom
10-27-2004, 6:31 PM
You might be a woodworker if:

...you check every piece of furniture you come across to see if the drawers have been dovetailed.

...you know what time and channel NYW is on a month in advance.

...you'd put a poster of Norm Abram on your wall if you had one.

...you can recognize David Marks but not David Spade.

...you always know what you want for Christmas...in FEBRUARY!!!

...you have more wood stored in your shop than you could possibly use in a lifetime.

Ron Jones near Indy
10-27-2004, 7:07 PM
When told you have sawdust for brains, you get choked up and say, "That's one of the nicest things anyone ever said to me!".

John Miliunas
10-27-2004, 7:17 PM
When you mention Delta or Jet, your friends KNOW you're not talking about taking a vacation!

You know the exact model number of every power tool in your shop, but can't remember what year vehicle you drive.

You've memorized the Web address of every major tool vendor you use. :cool:

Mark Singer
10-27-2004, 9:39 PM
If your on Saw Mill Creek...another of my brilliant observations

Ernie Hobbs
10-27-2004, 11:21 PM
you know you're a woodworker if...

you refuse to let your wife talk you into buying furniture-- you could make it better yourself.

Ernie Hobbs
Madison, AL

Mark Singer
10-28-2004, 2:30 AM
You enjoy having splinters jammed under your finger nails.

You lose pizza among your slices of wood and when you find it...use maple sawdust instead of parmesian

You order your $150K Porsche Turbo with a lumber rack

John Miliunas
10-28-2004, 8:32 AM
You order your $150K Porsche Turbo with a lumber rack

Hey Mark, don't forget the trailer hitch for that Porche! :D :cool:

Jerry Olexa
10-28-2004, 12:49 PM
You spend more and more (actually every) waking minute that you are not in the shop, devouring WW magazines and catalogs,watching TV WW or DIY shows or browsing WW shop and BORGs and continually lusting for better, bigger tools(no pun intended). You tell your wife all your current tools are outdated!

PS I think Red Green would have a few good thoughts also.:)

Greg Heppeard
10-28-2004, 5:26 PM
Your dream job is managing a Woodcraft store, so you can play with all the new toyls when they come in.

:eek: OMG I'm one ! ! ! :eek: :D

Ron Schweitzer
10-28-2004, 7:27 PM
you see a discarded pallet and you check out what kind of wood they used.
you ever salvaged a pallet to use for setup or test wood.
Ron

Martin Shupe
10-29-2004, 12:19 AM
There is a room that was labeled "office" on your house floor plan, but you can't walk in it because that's where you keep the very best pieces of your wood stash.

Mike Scoggins
10-29-2004, 9:53 AM
...the standard for measuring the "goodness" of your weekend is directly proportional to shop time.

...your estimate of how long it will take to complete each woodworking or home improvement project is 1/3 to 1/2 of the time it will actually be proven to take (no matter how many projects you've done).

...you are still optimistic about your next project in spite of the statement directly above.

...you honestly believe that you'll be content for a while once you get that next tool on your wish list only to find that "for a while" generally means about a week.

..you believe "I can do that" as you watch the latest episode of [fill in your favorite woodworking show here].

Mike

Jerry Olexa
10-30-2004, 6:36 PM
You have 2 or 3 UNOPENED new tools in your shop but you are still eyeing that new (fill in blanks) tool you.ve heard about or saw your last trip to the WW shop....

An accident in the shop doesn't faze you. You stop the bleeding and keep working...

You search this and other forums to find out about new TOOLS..

Halloween to you is an interference to your shoptime..:)

John Miliunas
10-30-2004, 7:28 PM
When shopping for a new home, your major buying decision is based on the type and number of out-buildings, rather than the house itself.

The family car *HAS* to get, at least, 25mpg, but it's OK if your woodhauler does 11.5 or better.

LOYL's calendar has everyone's birthdays and anniversarys marked; Yours has the dates of all the annual sales at the major tool vendors. :cool:

Tom Sontag
11-01-2004, 1:36 PM
...trees begin to look like well-stacked turning blanks.

Steve Clardy
11-01-2004, 2:57 PM
If you keep overhauling the coffee pot so you can save your money for more tools. Steve

Rich Konopka
11-01-2004, 3:36 PM
You might be a woodworker if:

You Burp and all that comes out is Saw Dust

Your wife asks if you want to join her and you tell you want a DJ20 :eek: :p

Scott Coffelt
11-01-2004, 3:43 PM
....you find yourself pulling into a HD. Lowes, Woodcrafter's, etc. and you were actually going grocery shopping.
....your vehicle always pulls towards the wwing store as you drive by
.... you buy the third, forth, fifth, etc. router, saw, clamp whatever just becuase it was on sale, and not becuase you need it
.... you circle items in the BB store flyer and leave on the counter with a note saying xmas ideas
.... you save any little piece of figured wood, because you might have a need some day for it
..... it takes you 12 hours to buy one board for a project and you come home with 600 bdft feet
.... you drive 2, 4, 6, 8 hours to go to a BBQ with people you never met

Chris Padilla
11-01-2004, 3:45 PM
...you fly 3 hours, then drive 6 hours with people you never met, to get to a BBQ with people you never met

Rich Konopka
11-01-2004, 3:57 PM
Are you guys connected or twins .... Posted 2 minutes apart .. too much of a coincidence for me.... Scary.... Twighlight Zone



.... you drive 2, 4, 6, 8 hours to go to a BBQ with people you never met


...you fly 3 hours, then drive 6 hours with people you never met, to get to a BBQ with people you never met

Martin Lutz
11-01-2004, 5:03 PM
---you have four out-of-round balding tires because you hit the brakes so hard for downed, maybe free, trees.


---- you carry your chainsaw, winching equipment, and pull a trailer whenever your greater than 5 miles from the house. you know---just in case....

LT Dever
11-08-2004, 1:24 PM
When your wife keeps finding those carpender pencils in the washing machine.



When your wife says...( I wish you would look at me the way you look at wood!

*true story*......................:D

Bart Leetch
11-08-2004, 11:50 PM
If you have a grey beard & a Altendorf sliding table-saw & a killer project picture album. :D :eek: :D

Denny Rice
08-12-2007, 1:54 AM
The LOYL washes your close and finds MicroMesh sandpaper in every single pocket!

You wish your neighbors tree would die so you can have more wood to turn.

The total dollar amount of tools in your shop out costs BOTH of your vehicles.

The LOYL won't take you furniture shopping any more because you always crawl around on the floor examining how sloppy each piece is made and she escorts you out of the furniture shop swearing that she'll NEVER take you furniture shopping ever again. :rolleyes:

Dennis,
The furniture store thing has happened to me before. About 4 yrs ago, I still laugh about it!

Randal Stevenson
08-12-2007, 2:43 AM
You go to a late friends funeral, and keep checking out the coffin.

You wake up, late at night, and wish the borg was open, just because it was close.

Your wife/girlfriend asks you if your going to bed, or going to sleep with the new tool/toy, and you have to consider it!

You think those shade trees are a waste of lumber.

Next

Roger Savatteri
08-12-2007, 3:16 AM
while on a cruise in the Greek Islands.................

every morning at the buffet the last thing you put on your tray is a pile of chopsticks to feed the sculpture your working on in your stateroom while out at sea.

......and then while out in one of the Islands (Rhodes) you have a large grin when you turn the corner and there's a hardware store and you walk out with an emergency bag of miniature tools to take back to the stateroom and continue working with the chopsticks.
(I wouldn't even begin to convey my girlfriend's reaction to that moment in time)

Jason Beam
08-12-2007, 3:47 AM
... You can't go to a new resturant without trying to identify the wood used in its decor and furnishings.

... you try to bookmatch the slices of bread on your sandwich.

... you participate in "you might be a woodworker..." threads ... :P

Mitchell Andrus
08-12-2007, 8:18 AM
... you don't covet your neighbors new Porche.

... you forget to eat lunch, and dinner.

... you manage to spend just the right amount of time reading these, of course the time's available only because the finish is setting up and running the saw is a no-no.

... Hmmm.... car payment / load of lumber..... car payment / load of lumber...

Nancy Laird
08-12-2007, 12:03 PM
You have been caught---stealing a peice of firewood for your lathe --while on vaction

Hubby says this is me! Actually, I didn't steal it, I was given free reign to take all I wanted, so I did.

We were on vacation in Colorado and stopped at a little woodworking shop in Palisade, Colorado (hubby's idea of the perfect vacation - visit every little woodworking shop he can find:rolleyes: ). Anyway, the owner was very nice, invited us in and showed us around, including the 3-foot-high stack of milled 4/4 walnut sitting on a pair of sawhorses. Seems he has just finished milling all this walnut for the flooring in the new house he's building. As I was wandering around and admiring his shop, I noticed a stack of cutoffs sitting on the floor next to his chop saw, including a LOT of walnut cutoffs. I asked him what he was going to do with the cutoffs; his reply: "burn them"!!!!:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: I asked him if I could have a few pieces and he told me to take all I wanted, so I filled up a 12x18x10" deep box with his cutoffs - got enough walnut to turn about 200 or so pens!!! Even the cutoffs were pretty - I've already turned two of the most gorgeous walnut burl pens I've ever seen.

One is going to him - as I told him, I don't get without giving something in return.

Nancy (131 days)

Nancy Laird
08-12-2007, 12:09 PM
You have NO IDEA how many of these apply to my spouse! It's scary. Are you SURE you didn't bug our house????

Nancy (131 days)

Don Taylor
08-12-2007, 5:51 PM
You might be a wood worker if:

You wake in the middle of the night with a revolutionary new way to complete a difficult project. (That everyone else but you already knew.)

You find your friends being very apprehensive about setting down that cold water dripping coke. (Remembering what happened the last time they did.)

Every construction site within a hundred miles knows your truck on sight.



DT

Jon Shively
08-12-2007, 6:15 PM
you sort out turning stock from the load of firewood as you stack the load!

Kevin French
08-12-2007, 8:34 PM
...when your 'Tool Wish list' is longer then SWMBO's vacation travel list.

...when SWMBO asks what video you want and she fails to see the humor when you answer 'Mastering the Router'. Only you weren't joking.

glenn bradley
08-12-2007, 9:07 PM
If the LOYL doesn't so much as raise an eyebrow anymore when you buy another clamp(s).

Stephen Beckham
08-12-2007, 9:49 PM
when you can identify the type/species of wood by smells of cutting or burning... and all the wife can smell is "smoke"

when you cry cutting up a cherry tree in the neighbors yard and you have no more room in your storage shed for a tiny piece...

when you're in California for a week long trip (not related to wood of course) and get excited about a major storm system knocking trees down all over in the hills...

yes - it costs me over $100 bills to have some trimmed up by a local shop and then shipped home by UPS. That man thought I was nuts... So did the UPS clerk...

Jon Lanier
08-13-2007, 12:45 AM
Any time you see a baseball bat crack, you think " I bet I can make a better one..."

LOL!!!! My 11 year old just said that this week. "Dad, I bet I could make one that won't break." :)

Jon Lanier
08-13-2007, 12:52 AM
… After watching The New Yankee Workshop you say, “I could do that too, if I had all of his tools.”

Dusty Fuller
08-13-2007, 8:34 AM
When you come home from work and go to work...

Ken Fitzgerald
08-13-2007, 9:39 AM
You put off retirement for 2 more years so you can order and pay for that new bandsaw, dc, jointer and lathe you have been drooling over.....

John Schreiber
08-13-2007, 9:45 AM
Far too many of these apply. I'm especially embarrassed by having noticed the caulk in the joints of a loved ones coffin. (No not a coffin smoother!)


You hang unfinished wood on the wall because it's too pretty to work.
You visit friends with antiques and find yourself sitting on the floor inspecting joinery.
Others are impressed with your work, but all you can see are the mistakes.

John Schreiber
08-13-2007, 9:49 AM
and . . .

You tell your wife you were shopping for a tool all day in a nearby city, and only came back with a chisel which you said cost $150 . . . and she's not even suspicious. (And since everyone reading this is a woodworker, they aren't sure what she should be suspicious about.)

Nancy Laird
08-13-2007, 9:57 AM
You put off retirement for 2 more years so you can order and pay for that new bandsaw, dc, jointer and lathe you have been drooling over.....

Is this the BIG announcement, Ken??;)

Nancy (130 days)

Jim Becker
08-13-2007, 10:18 AM
...when you're traveling on business in a very interesting place and the thing you notice the most is the lumber yard next to the "normal" attractions...

Michael Schwartz
08-13-2007, 12:35 PM
You Might be a Woodworker if

You have a special folder in your email program, and a special alert setup on your phone and PDA for Woodcraft and Rocker promotional emails.

You have handplanes that are worth as much as your truck

Your Handplanes are stored (displayed :rolleyes: ) in your living and dining room because you don't want them to rust in your basement shop.

You have a cordless drill for all your most used drill bits and drivers, and a Router for all your favorite bits.

A good day is measured in pounds of rust you came across at flea markets.

You open up your cell phone to make a call and sawdust falls out.

More later.....

Michael Schwartz
08-13-2007, 12:38 PM
You might be a woodworker if

Your friends are mystified and wonnder why you are so passionate about hand-planes.

Leigh Costello
08-13-2007, 4:21 PM
...if your idea of a storm chaser has nothing to do with the storm and everything to do with the blown over trees.:eek:

...if your LOYL asks for dinner at a reasonable hour and gets it "just as soon as I get this piece just right." :D

...if your darling daughter says, "Mom, if I agree to help you clean the shop, can I....?"

...if your hubby totally understands why you stopped and picked up the "perfect" burl off the side of the road and got a late start on supper.

...if you plan to go to the NBM show in Indy and expect to spend more time at Woodturningz than you do the show.:D

and last but not least,

...your 20th anniversary present has nothing to do with diamonds and everything to do with a cool tool! :D :eek:

Gary Muto
08-13-2007, 5:41 PM
You Might be a Woodworker if
You are traveling for work and you prepare by looking for woodworking stores in your destination city because you'll be bored without your shop tools.

John W. Willis
08-13-2007, 6:19 PM
............you have to sprinkle sawdust on your meal before it tastes right.

Ed Garrett
08-13-2007, 7:03 PM
Thanks for this idea, Kent. Here's mine. They're mostly biographical:

…if you get up at 4AM, skip the coffee, and head straight for the shop.

…if when your wife is out of town for a few days, you go on a deranged surfing spree on Sawmill Creek and other woodworking sights.

…if you have never seen CSI, Law & Order, Miami Vice, Seinfeld, or the Cosby Show.

…if you believe you are famous because your father-in-law is pictured in the Grizzly Catalog

…if your heroes are Sam Maloof, George Nakashima, Bill Pentz, and Norm

…if your cutting boards are custom fit to snap into your sinks.

…if your wife doesn’t want to see the Sawstop video again.

…if newcomers to your house are suddenly speechless when they see a peculiar piece of furniture…

…if you polish/wax your table saw more than your car.

…if you know right where the woodworking section is in your library

…if, when you got married and moved out, an early priority was to get a collection of tools started because your dad’s tools were no longer available.

…if you have seven planks of teak stored behind a table at your work office

…if when some big shot tells you he’s a vice president you ask him whether it’s a woodworking vice and does it have a quick release.

…if your wife has a hobby room and the hobby she has taken up is Storing Rough Lumber (I got this from John Bush).

…if you view your imminent retirement as a good opportunity to get things caught up in the shop

…if while driving on vacation you spot huge industrial cyclone separators and alert the family to these points of interest.

Sincerely,
Ed Garrett
Tallahassee

Ben Grunow
08-13-2007, 8:36 PM
Sawdust is your band-aid for small cuts (great coagulant)

Jeff Heil
08-13-2007, 11:05 PM
....if you spend your entire day off in the shop, forget to eat lunch, don't leave the house or talk to anyone until your wife comes home and you think that is normal.

....if you leave the builder's "Parade of Homes" and tell your wife you don't understand why anyone would put painted MDF trim in a $750,000 house.

Jerome Hanby
08-15-2007, 1:12 PM
...you see something you didn't recognize in this thread, look it up , and now have it on your "gotta have it" list

Al Willits
08-15-2007, 2:29 PM
You might be if....
You drive by a woodcraft everyday on the way to and from work and they come out and wave at ya...

You and the wife go look at a dining room table and she asks what you think, and you reply, water based I think dear....

Finding the storm has just dumped that very old and large tree on your house and car, destroying both, and you first wonder if you should call a tree service or the sawmill.

Your shop has a better HVAC system than most commercial computer rooms do.

You read about the rain forest getting cut down and wonder if you could get some of it....

Al