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Kent A Bathurst
12-03-2009, 7:28 PM
OK - I'm no physicist - all I know about physics is this:

A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a drink?" The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."

But beyond that, when the bright guys finally figure out the GUTU, I am confident that it will cover two things:

1) The attraction of hurricanes and tornadoes to trailer parks, and
2) All of those strings of little white Christmas tree lights that worked last year when they came off the tree, went directly into storage, and don't work today. What - they have a litttle hidden timer/clock imbedded in there somewhere?

Belinda Barfield
12-03-2009, 7:34 PM
And
3) Those strings of lights are supposed to work if you replace the blown bulb, but it is impossible to find that one bulb.

Steve Schlumpf
12-03-2009, 7:39 PM
Actually - after many years as an electronic tech - you learn the secret.

You thump them with your finger. When it flickers - you change it and life is good!

Ken Fitzgerald
12-03-2009, 7:43 PM
Actually - after many years as an electronic tech - you learn the secret.

You thump them with your finger. When it flickers - you change it and life is good!

Which finger do you use?:confused:

Steve Schlumpf
12-03-2009, 7:48 PM
Why, my flicking finger of course! :D

Ken Fitzgerald
12-03-2009, 7:54 PM
Thanks for the sage advice Steve!

Jim Rimmer
12-03-2009, 9:47 PM
Actually - after many years as an electronic tech - you learn the secret.

You thump them with your finger. When it flickers - you change it and life is good!

How do you make it flicker when it's not on? :confused: I have flicked (or thumped) unitl my finger hurt and nothing.

John Coloccia
12-03-2009, 9:49 PM
And
3) Those strings of lights are supposed to work if you replace the blown bulb, but it is impossible to find that one bulb.

This must be what that String Theory thing is all about. Good. It's about time someone figures this nonsense out.

Greg Peterson
12-03-2009, 11:47 PM
But will the GUTU demystify why my extension cords get knotted up every time?

Belinda Barfield
12-04-2009, 9:26 AM
I just hope someone comes up with the Unified Theory of Lost Socks.

Jerome Hanby
12-04-2009, 9:35 AM
I just hope someone comes up with the Unified Theory of Lost Socks.
Buy all the same brand and color of socks, leave the extras i the basket for next cycle.

I think when you get to heaven you get back all those lost socks...

Belinda Barfield
12-04-2009, 9:54 AM
Buy all the same brand and color of socks, leave the extras i the basket for next cycle.

I think when you get to heaven you get back all those lost socks...

Can't do it Jerome, all the same color socks would just be boring. Some women have a thing for shoes, I have a thing for socks. :D In my universe if I have a sock with no mate I put the single sock on top of the dryer to await its mate. In my SO's universe he puts a sock with no mate in his sock drawer to await its mate. So, depending on who takes the clothes out of the dryer, a single sock has two options for existence. I think in this case the lost socks are just living in parallel universes. :rolleyes:

Dennis McGarry
12-04-2009, 10:52 AM
Can't do it Jerome, all the same color socks would just be boring. Some women have a thing for shoes, I have a thing for socks. :D In my universe if I have a sock with no mate I put the single sock on top of the dryer to await its mate. In my SO's universe he puts a sock with no mate in his sock drawer to await its mate. So, depending on who takes the clothes out of the dryer, a single sock has two options for existence. I think in this case the lost socks are just living in parallel universes. :rolleyes:

Could it be there are a bunch of single socks in a drawer and a bunch on the dryer destined to forever be so close but yet worlds apart?


:)

Ken Fitzgerald
12-04-2009, 11:12 AM
to forever be so close but yet worlds apart?


:)


Now you are describing the relationship between the LOML and I!:rolleyes:

Belinda Barfield
12-04-2009, 11:17 AM
Could it be there are a bunch of single socks in a draw and a bunch on the dryer destined to forever be so close but yet worlds apart?


:)

Sadly, Dennis, I believe you are correct. The wormhole I created to connect the sock drawer to the top of the dryer is being blocked by a substance I have named Stubborness. This substance seems to be at fault for much of what is wrong in my universe. Try as I might I have yet to find a way to defeat Stubborness. It is simply impossible to have the wormhole go from the top of the dryer to the sock drawer. :rolleyes:

After many, many attempts I have succesfully created a wormhole from the side of the bed to the clothes hamper, so perhaps there is still hope for the socks. I also have to defeat the alien cat that likes to take a sock into the neverland under the bed. For some reason that cat loves my socks!

Kent A Bathurst
12-04-2009, 12:55 PM
This is too much - I go away for a few hours and have all this hilarious stuff to read when I get back.

Had a great friend where we used to live, but he was the kind of guy that washed AND waxed his lawn mower after each use - I kid you not. He could not bear to throw anything away. He told me the "flick and replace" thing. Soooo.....I took him 5 50' strings and said "Here. Have fun." Shut him right up. Me? I just toss the suckers. This is definitely a patience thing. Wally world sells them for like $5, so when my "unused stock" gets low, I get another dozen and put them in the storage box.

Last - lost socks - I do the laundry, so if its my socks, I keep them in the laundry room till next time, or until I get fed up and toss them (right after which, I look behind the washer/drier, and find the mate). If they are hers, I send 'em back with the clean laundry. Not like those are my problem, right?

And - Belinda - SWMBO is both a sock addict and a shoe addict. You shoulda seen the look I got when I suggested she get a couple dozen of the exact same sock, so it would be easier for me to sort + fold. Yikes. BIIIIG mistake.

John Coloccia
12-04-2009, 1:06 PM
When the dryer spins, it creates a wormhole. This is due to "physics". Small items such as socks and handkerchiefs can fit though this wormhole. Larger items can't. Only one sock of any pair can ever go through the same wormhole. This follows from Pauli's exclusion principle. So where do the socks go? Let's just say it's no coincidence that since the invention of the clothes dryer, we keep finding more and more rings around Saturn.

Belinda Barfield
12-04-2009, 1:13 PM
And - Belinda - SWMBO is both a sock addict and a shoe addict. You shoulda seen the look I got when I suggested she get a couple dozen of the exact same sock, so it would be easier for me to sort + fold. Yikes. BIIIIG mistake.

Never, ever try to get between a woman and her shoes (or socks).

I have a shoe addiction as well. And don't even get me started on hosiery! You men, with your brown shoes and black shoes, your brown socks and white socks . . . you miss all the fun! Of course, if you think I'm a sock addict, you should meet my ex. He had Argyle socks in every color of the rainbow, and socks with golf clubs, and socks with polka dots - you get the picture. :rolleyes:

Belinda Barfield
12-04-2009, 1:15 PM
Well darn it! I'm getting on the phone to NASA pronto. We must launch a mission to retrieve all the lost socks! This is a priority. Those dang Saturnians! You'd think out of common courtesy they would save us the trouble.

phil harold
12-04-2009, 1:16 PM
I live in a left hand world

I have 21 left hand gloves and 2 right hand gloves

Who has 19 extra rights?

Phyllis Meyer
12-04-2009, 1:16 PM
People, people...our home has created the perfect solution for the lights...we leave them on the tree (we purchased them for a buck after Christmas) and we burn them right along with the tree. They give off beautiful colors! Oh know...what am I to do...this year I got a fake tree...oh goodness:eek:.

Socks...I can't even think about it...too stressed about the burning of the tree issue:D

You all crack me up! Love it!
Phyllis

Bill Arnold
12-04-2009, 1:46 PM
Never, ever try to get between a woman and her shoes (or socks).
...or rings - especially the diamond types!

LOML is perfectly happy as long as she has heels and diamonds to wear! And that's plenty for me! :D

Carlos Alden
12-04-2009, 2:22 PM
I just hope someone comes up with the Unified Theory of Lost Socks.

Wormhole to the closet from the dryer. Lost socks show up as extra hangers in the closet.

Carlos

Jim Rimmer
12-04-2009, 2:47 PM
Wormhole to the closet from the dryer. Lost socks show up as extra hangers in the closet.

Carlos
Lost socks escape the dryer to join that lonely shoe you see on the side of the road.

Belinda Barfield
12-04-2009, 2:52 PM
Lost socks escape the dryer to join that lonely shoe you see on the side of the road.


I love it Jim! I've always wondered how one shoe ends up beside the road.

Belinda Barfield
12-04-2009, 2:53 PM
Wormhole to the closet from the dryer. Lost socks show up as extra hangers in the closet.

Carlos

Doesn't work that way at my house Carlos, but I wish it did. I can never find enough hangers.

Gene Howe
12-05-2009, 7:42 AM
I live in a left hand world

I have 21 left hand gloves and 2 right hand gloves

Who has 19 extra rights?

I only lose left foot socks. I have drawer full of righties.

Caspar Hauser
12-05-2009, 7:52 AM
Doesn't work that way at my house Carlos, but I wish it did. I can never find enough hangers.

They are at my house.

Do you have my socks? 1 pair grey wool, in need of darning, odd red cotton (thick), odd black cotton (thin).

Belinda Barfield
12-05-2009, 7:57 AM
They are at my house.

Do you have my socks? 1 pair grey wool, in need of darning, odd red cotton (thick), odd black cotton (thin).

I checked Caspar. No grey wool. I have one odd red cotton (thick). No black cotton (thin). I have one navy thin and one hot pink thin. I'll trade you the red (sorry, it's in my size) for a dozen hangers.

Alan Zenreich
12-05-2009, 8:03 AM
I just hope someone comes up with the Unified Theory of Lost Socks.


Belinda,

This has already been proven/solved.

The "human sock" (as it is called to the lay people), is the larval form of the wire coat hanger.

Belinda Barfield
12-05-2009, 8:06 AM
Belinda,

This has already been proven/solved.

The "human sock" (as it is called to the lay people), is the larval form of the wire coat hanger.

Thanks for the info Alan. I'm not up on my scientifical reading.

I did find this though while Christmas shopping online. Wish I had thought of it. This may be why I don't have any hangers. Someone is taking my larval coat hangers and recycling them into mismatched sock pairs.

http://www.windandweather.com/product.asp?section_id=2007&search_type=featured&search_value=2013&cur_index=6&pcode=1828

Kent A Bathurst
12-05-2009, 9:21 AM
...or rings - especially the diamond types!

LOML is perfectly happy as long as she has heels and diamonds to wear! And that's plenty for me! :D

Sorry, dude, but 'round these parts, its pearls. Pearl earrings. Pearl necklaces. And they only come in pretty blue boxes tied with white ribbon.

Alan Zenreich
12-05-2009, 11:01 AM
"LOML is perfectly happy as long as she has heels and diamonds to wear! And that's plenty for me!"

<sings>
People say she's crazy
She got diamonds on the soles of her shoes
Well that's one way to lose these
Walking blues
Diamonds on the soles of her shoes
</sings>