Monday Humor

[Belinda Barfield]

Feel free to add thoughts that apply to woodworking. :)

Random Thoughts for the Day:

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes - to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this thing I have-- ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet, on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Bud Light than with a Kay jewelry product.

[Jerome Hanby]

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet, on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Bud Light than with a Kay jewelry product.

I think there is another activity that begins with a Kay jewelery product, but this isn't the kind of forum to discuss that:o.

[Jeff Dege]

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes - to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
I know it's a sign that I'm a hard-core computer geek, but it always astounds me that more people don't use version-control software for their personal data files. Pretty much everything I write or edit is in version control (svn, these days, used to be cvs, before that rcs and sccs). And I can't tell you how many times it has rescued me from stupid mistakes.

[Prashun Patel]

Those are hillarious. Dumb question: did you make them up? Hat tipped if you did. Pretty clever.

One thing I disagree with: The BEST moment in an argument (at least with wife) is the moment I realize I'm wrong. I'd rather think that I'm the crazy idiot than to think that I had such poor judgment as to marry one.

[Lee Schierer]

A corollary to # 16 is if you leave the house wearing old raggedy clothes to go do a dirty job you will meet not less than 10 people you would rather not have met looking like you do....

[Jason Roehl]

Lee, as a painter, my usual attire is pretty much always, shall we say, "humble"" (but I do wear the painter's whites--seems to give the look of professionalism that jeans don't). Anyway, you eventually get over it. I'll even eat lunch at a nicer restaurant in them (like Olive Garden or Applebee's) without giving my clothes a second thought.

5. My mom taught me the trick--perhaps I should sell a video...
7. I've always gotten a kick out of that.
8. I agree wholeheartedly.
11. Usually happens to me right after I wake up on a Monday, or right after I finish a beer with lunch on a Friday.
15. No kidding. Happens to me all the time.
17. I always suspected I wasn't the only one.
18. We just bought a new chest freezer--it has a light, and our (4? year old) top-freezer/refrigerator has one.
19. They don't claim "Kay Jewelry", only that every "kiss" begins with "k". At least that's what I'm sure the lawyers would claim if there were ever a false advertising claim.

[Belinda Barfield]

Those are hillarious. Dumb question: did you make them up? Hat tipped if you did. Pretty clever.

One thing I disagree with: The BEST moment in an argument (at least with wife) is the moment I realize I'm wrong. I'd rather think that I'm the crazy idiot than to think that I had such poor judgment as to marry one.

Shawn, I wish I could take credit for them, but I can't.


A corollary to # 16 is if you leave the house wearing old raggedy clothes to go do a dirty job you will meet not less than 10 people you would rather not have met looking like you do....

Isn't that the truth Lee? Now y'all don't tell my mama, or my three aunts, but I occasionally break the cardinal rule of Southern Belledom . . . I leave the house without "doing" my face or my hair. This typically occurs when I desperately need something from the grocery BORG or the home BORG. I swear every time I throw on that Braves baseball cap and don't apply the lipstick I'll run into at least six or seven people that I would rather have not met in an undone state. If I'm visiting back home it is guaranteed that one of those six or seven will be an ex-boyfriend and another will be his current girlfriend!:eek:

[Larry Browning]

I know it's a sign that I'm a hard-core computer geek, but it always astounds me that more people don't use version-control software for their personal data files.

Yes Jeff, you are hard core. (me too!)
If it astounds you that normal people don't do this, have I got a list for you!
For instance, did you know that most people don't backup their computer...EVER! Nor do they defrag.. EVER!!!
Maybe you should start a "You might be a computer geek..." thread. After all your name is Jeff.....

[Jim Rimmer]

Shawn, I wish I could take credit for them, but I can't.



Isn't that the truth Lee? Now y'all don't tell my mama, or my three aunts, but I occasionally break the cardinal rule of Southern Belledom . . . I leave the house without "doing" my face or my hair. This typically occurs when I desperately need something from the grocery BORG or the home BORG. I swear every time I throw on that Braves baseball cap and don't apply the lipstick I'll run into at least six or seven people that I would rather have not met in an undone state. If I'm visiting back home it is guaranteed that one of those six or seven will be an ex-boyfriend and another will be his current girlfriend!:eek:


How about the Mom warning - "Always wear clean underwear, you might be in an accident." If I were in an accident, my undies probably would no longer be clean. And what if you don't get in an accident; is it just wasted effort?

[Jeff Dege]

For instance, did you know that most people don't backup their computer...EVER! Nor do they defrag.. EVER!!!
Yeah, I know. Had a customer once, call me out to "fix" a system that we had put together for them. We'd done all we could to make it fool-proof. We'd built it with a tape back-up system, that did incremental backups Mon-Thu, and a full backup every Friday night. We even popped the tape, for them. All they had to do was take out the tape when they got in in the morning, and put in the next night's tape. (There were two Friday tapes that they alternated.)

So I got there, and their hard-drive was toast. And for the last eight months, they'd just been sticking the "Tue" tape back in the drive.

I told them I couldn't fix it, their best chance was to ship the drive to a forensic drive recovery firm. They told me that I didn't understand, if they didn't have the system up and running by the end of the week, they'd be out of business. I told them I'd make sure they got my bill the next day.

A fundamental rule - if your backup system relies on a person to actually do something, when it really matters they'll have been too lazy.

As for defrag, I don't believe in it. Instead, I restore my latest set of backups to new media, and then swap drives. I do an automated incremental four times a day, so running a final incremental just before I switch only takes moments.

Another fundamental rule - if you've never tested your backups by restoring to a bare drive, you don't really have backups.

[Matt Sollars]

I got that forward as well.....the argument one really hit home with me....i hate that feeling.

matt

[Jason Roehl]

Yes Jeff, you are hard core. (me too!)
If it astounds you that normal people don't do this, have I got a list for you!
For instance, did you know that most people don't backup their computer...EVER! Nor do they defrag.. EVER!!!
Maybe you should start a "You might be a computer geek..." thread. After all your name is Jeff.....


I think one is a real computer geek if they NEVER do any backups, defrags, or use version control software--and can still recover their data from a dead computer (or hard drive). :D

[Belinda Barfield]

How about the Mom warning - "Always wear clean underwear, you might be in an accident." If I were in an accident, my undies probably would no longer be clean. And what if you don't get in an accident; is it just wasted effort?

I had to laugh when I read this, Jim. One good friend, male, has this view. . . Why wear underwear at all? Saves time in the ER and on laundry day. Another friend, female, lives by the following . . . Always wear your best undies, you never know who you might meet.

So, if you want to meet that handsome - or beautiful - ER doc what do you do? Save him/her time, or look really good in your now not so clean undies?

[Pat Germain]

So, if you want to meet that handsome - or beautiful - ER doc what do you do? Save him/her time, or look really good in your now not so clean undies?

Contrary to portrayals on daytime and prime-time soaps, when you're in a situation to meet an ER doctor, you're not going to be looking well at all. When they're making a call for more blood, you're problems go far beyond clean undies. ;)

I once broke my toe on Thanksgiving day. The pain was excruciating. I finally broke down and went to the ER. No kidding, my ER doc was an absolutely stunning young woman. And there I was looking so pathetic with a broken toe. :rolleyes:

[Belinda Barfield]

Contrary to portrayals on daytime and prime-time soaps, when you're in a situation to meet an ER doctor, you're not going to be looking well at all. When they're making a call for more blood, you're problems go far beyond clean undies. ;)

I once broke my toe on Thanksgiving day. The pain was excruciating. I finally broke down and went to the ER. No kidding, my ER doc was an absolutely stunning young woman. And there I was looking so pathetic with a broken toe. :rolleyes:

Pat! Say it ain't so! Are you trying to tell me that the man of my dreams isn't going to look upon my pale colorless face, gaze longingly at my bloodless lips, stroke my limp, sweaty hair . . . and fall instantly in love? Hey, it happened to Snow White!

Seriously, you're right. I had a car accident years ago. Busted out the driver's side window with my head and banged up a few other body parts. Two of the cutest EMT's I had ever seen walked up to the car window. I swear it was uncanny how they said the same thing at exactly the same time. ;) Thinking that being brave might be attractive I tried to convince them that I didn't need a ride to the hospital . . . I could just walk to the ER. It was only a couple of blocks. At least that's what I said in my head, in my most charming manner, surely batting my eyelashes all the while. I believe the reality was closer to trying to keep the blood from running down into my eye while saying something along the lines of "No, ish okay . . . I can walk . . . you boysh jush go on with your day. . . Scuse me, could you tell me why I can only see blue . . . oh! pretty puffy white thingsh. I'm sure it was SO appealing. :D