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Nancy Laird
11-05-2009, 2:30 PM
READ THE WHOLE THING BEFORE YOU HIT THE REPORT BUTTON AND CRY "POLITICAL"!!

A friend on a social networking website where I am a member wrote the following essay and posted it today. I found it so powerful---and so true---that I am compelled to share it with everyone I know. He has distilled down into about 2000 words the problems which we have in the country today and the reasons behind them. Basically, we all need to GROW UP, put on our big-girl panties or our big-boy boxers and shape up, rather than yearning for instant gratification and miracles.

Perhaps if we read this essay, take it to heart and mind, pass it on to your children and grandchildren and nieces and nephews and parents and grandparents and brothers and sisters, we can change our ways of thinking and expecting, at least a little bit?

I thought this was important enough to share.

The Infantizing of America

In last Tuesday’s elections, Republicans regained governorships of Virginia and New Jersey. My right-wing friend reliably shot off an e-mail crowing that the "love fest" for Obama was over.

My friend’s remark troubles me, because he’s right. Obama has been in office for eleven months and all the talk is about how he’s failed to fix the economic crisis. It took eight YEARS for the nation to recover from the Great Depression, yet many of Obama’s supporters have become cranky because they’re not back to flipping houses.

The outpouring of adoration when Obama was elected exalted Obama to the level of Moses coming down from the mountain. Maybe we ought to remember that when Moses came down from the mountain, he didn’t bring solutions to everyone’s problems, he brought the Law, which demanded moral strength and grown-up patience.

Today we lack both of these as we become more and more infantile. "Infantizing" is my term for a social and cultural trend I see in American society. It is a trend toward behaving like infants or very young children, and it frightens me because it has brought with it violence, bigotry, and the loss of manners and humanity. An infant behaves in certain ways:

When an infant is hungry, it screams and flails until it is fed. An infant cannot control its hunger.

If an infant breaks a priceless vase, or pulls the dog’s ears, it won’t understand why you’re angry. An infant has no sense of right or wrong.

When an infant is angry or frustrated it strikes out, with fists or rattle or anything in its grasp. An infant cannot control its temper.

An infant will taste baby food, table food, paint, medicine, or its own leavings, with equal gusto. An infant has no taste or judgment.

When an infant wants affection, it will fuss, cry, and thrash until it is picked up and cuddled. An infant needs constant attention.

For an infant, everything new is frightening or fascinating, no matter what its true value. An infant has no experience or perspective.

All of these attributes and behaviors are natural for infants; they’re SUPPOSED to be this way, and wise parents learn patience and understanding until the infant learns better. But I see the adults in our society exhibiting the behaviors of infants:

An infant cannot control its hunger. Eating disorders affect millions of men and women; we stuff ourselves with junk and gargantuan restaurant portions. Women work out at Curves and then reward themselves with a chocolate chip muffin. Boys spit and belch in public. Teenagers destroy homes during parties. Men rape when a woman refuses.

An infant has no sense of right or wrong. Rod Blagojevich is arrested on multiple corruption charges and is caught on tape trying to sell a U.S. Senate seat, but insists, "I did nothing wrong." Orlando Magic forward Rashard Lewis serves a 10-game suspension for violating the NBA's Anti-Drug Agreement and says, "I still feel I did nothing wrong." A home is robbed and the owners rush to hide valuables in a neighbor’s house so they can make a false insurance claim. Feeling guilt or shame is considered un–cool and weak.

An infant cannot control its temper. Civility and tact have become extinct. If a man feels slighted he beats the offender with a baseball bat. A hitter charges the pitcher at the slightest provocation. Motorists flip each other the bird, or sometimes use firearms. At town hall meetings, partisans scream and disrupt, rather than listening and debating. If a girl dares break up with her boyfriend, he kills her. Citizens sue each other for any reason, refusing to take responsibility for their actions.

An infant has no taste or judgment. The electronic media reduce all information to blips that don’t relate to each other. Texting, tweeting, and TV sound bites have reduced attention span to a few seconds. Reading has all but disappeared. Today’s generation is abysmally ignorant of history and culture. Mediocre performers are "legends," second-rate baseball players earn half a million dollars a season, men who spew bigotry are considered pundits, and the Real Housewives of New Jersey pull huge audiences for live "shows."

An infant needs constant attention. The media and technology have led us to expect instant love and friendship and instant solutions to complex problems. If a marriage doesn’t feel like "fun" after a week, the couple divorces. Teens buy each other gold after one date. "Reality" shows feature whiny, self-absorbed brats of all ages. Voters will elect a candidate to lower their taxes and provide unlimited government services, then vote the guy out a year later if miracles haven’t occurred.

An infant has no experience or perspective. In today’s info-media world, every event is of equal importance, and the wildest fabrications are accepted as truth. On CNN, a terrorist attack and a runaway bride are both "Breaking News." If the President burps, it goes viral on the Internet. House members Michelle Bachman (right wing) and Alan Grayson (left wing) pump out ludicrous "populist" statements and have millions of devoted followers. Horrifyingly huge numbers of Americans believe that Obama is a Muslim or that zinc cures a cold (he isn’t; it doesn’t).

We haven’t become more "Immoral" or "Evil." Rape, murder, bribery, torture, drug dealing, robbery, calumny, official misconduct, perversion, and abuse have all been part of human life as long as there have been humans. But in the best of times, there has been enlightenment, knowledge, a yearning toward humanity. Excellence has been striven for in art, music, and literature. Language has been ennobled and enriched.
We are in a position to fashion a society better than any that has gone before. Technology has given us creature comforts and the means to communicate globally. It has made possible mind-bending explorations in the arts. With information traveling across fiber optics in nanoseconds, we can create a stunning Renaissance. But instead we have become, as Time Magazine put it, a nation of busybodies and crybabies. We wallow in ego, refuse to acknowledge guilt or responsibility, throw tantrums if we don’t get our way, demand instant gratification in all things from dinner to love, hurt or kill when crossed.

Most dreadfully, we have trashed our past and our heritage. As the new generation grows up unwilling and unable to read and write, bereft of the ability to think or use information, we lose all that has made us human. We become a coast-to-coast playpen filled with squalling infants. This, of course, is what the bankers and CEOs and politicians want. Our willful ignorance and infantile behavior makes us susceptible to lies in ads and on the campaign trail. The rich and powerful want us to remain infants, to be fed and burped and tucked in, to pose no threat to greed or tyranny. Education makes grown-ups out of babies, and grown-ups can’t be easily fooled.

Self- discipline, delayed gratification, appreciation of complexity, mastery of language, are the hallmarks of adulthood and maturity. No worthwhile adult will ever lose the "child" within, and sometimes we should give in to our bodily hungers. But not all the time. If we all remain babies, there soon will be nobody to care for us.

Bob Borzelleri
11-05-2009, 3:50 PM
Zinc won't cure a cold?

All seriousness aside, I have been toying with the outline of a book for a bit now that, if I ever decide to make it happen, would touch on, not only the observations that were made in this essay, but some of the hows and whys about the trip we took to get where we are today.

I wonder if we have any Emergen-C in the pantry?

Belinda Barfield
11-05-2009, 3:58 PM
Thanks for posting this Nancy. You and I are thinking along the same lines today.

Ed Hazel
11-05-2009, 4:43 PM
Today we lack both of these as we become more and more infantile. "Infantizing" is my term for a social and cultural trend I see in American society. It is a trend toward behaving like infants or very young children, and it frightens me because it has brought with it violence, bigotry, and the loss of manners and humanity. An infant behaves in certain ways:



If you really think this is true you might want to revisit your history books.

Holocaust
race riots
We no longer hide non conforming members of our society in attic's or asylums.
I see many many new foundations to help the unfortunate.

Matt Benton
11-05-2009, 5:25 PM
I'm guessing that if you have something to say, you better say it quick...:D

Seriously, its a pretty accurate reflection. I think the question is, do we blame the "infants" who can't live responsibly, or those of us that do? I think there is a fairly direct correlation between the sense of entitlement a society feels it deserves and that society's ability to sustain itself. Our debt doesn't lie...

Brian Kent
11-05-2009, 5:39 PM
Thank you Nancy.

Love, Kindness, Mature thinking, patience, responsibility…

all virtues.

Brian

Nancy Laird
11-05-2009, 5:45 PM
If you really think this is true you might want to revisit your history books.



Ed, if you think that the majority of this isn't true, visit your nearest high school or college someday - you'll see walking, talking, text-messaging examples.

And you might want to give those 11th graders a 6th-grade history test--or watch "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader". The majority of high-school kids today can't name the 50 states - a lot of them don't even know how many states there are!

Greg Peterson
11-05-2009, 6:32 PM
It has proven to be very financially rewarding to tap into our lesser angels. Pundits serve up daily outrage for their audience despite the absence of fact, logic or reason.

I'm tired of the perpetual rich guy playing the victim card. I'm tired of the poor person playing the victim card.

One is playing it for further financial gain and the other is using as an excuse to not try harder.

Our ancestors would be ashamed of how we allowed so few to completely corrupt this nation. The blame is equal. And there is plenty to go around.

Jason Roehl
11-05-2009, 7:20 PM
Wait a minute...I'm not supposed to belch or spit in public?

Belching is just a compliment to the cook! It also makes room for more. :D

Spitting saves trees (don't have to use a tissue). ;)

Brian Kent
11-05-2009, 8:19 PM
Ed, if you think that the majority of this isn't true, visit your nearest high school or college someday - you'll see walking, talking, text-messaging examples.

And you might want to give those 11th graders a 6th-grade history test--or watch "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader". The majority of high-school kids today can't name the 50 states - a lot of them don't even know how many states there are!

I try those quizzes occasionally with adults and youth. The youth usually do just as well as the adults (or the adults do just as poorly as the youth).

Mitchell Andrus
11-05-2009, 8:44 PM
Well, thanks for posting this.

BUT, you'll find that overall our standard of living has gone up, even during the great depression and other 'bad' times cars gone safer, the ball-point pen was invented, houses got insulation as a matter of course and our kids stopped dying of polio. All to satisfy the crybabies wanting MORE.

Are there babies out there. Yep and I'd like to slap a few now and then. But I'm on the other side and I know better than to act like an infant - usually.

Good essay, but I'm sure an equally compelling case can be made contradicting each point presented. ie: are kids lazy? Harvard is filled to capacity and the greedy graduates have gone out, made their fortunes and come back with fat endowments for nearly 200 years.

Lazy, not all. Slackers have been living on the streets for centuries. Greed. Nothing new there.

I think the lens of time clouds a bit so we don't see all of the rot in past years. Grandma's photo album only shows happy people. The crybabies of her generation are long forgotten.
.

Eric DeSilva
11-05-2009, 8:54 PM
Sorry, can't agree. I'm guessing that at virtually any point in time, you could fill in those blanks with contemporaries of the time. Yesterday wasn't perfect and tomorrow won't be, and you can't judge America by the actions of a few who end up on the news.

Perhaps we are more attuned to the vagaries of misbehavior, since modern technology has made it easier to disseminate. But that doesn't mean those misbehaviors didn't exist before.

Dennis Peacock
11-05-2009, 9:38 PM
Just be VERY AWARE......this thread is being watched very carefully and is nearing the edge of disappearing.

Anthony Scira
11-05-2009, 10:35 PM
Yeah those shows can make people look really stupid. But in all reality if you do not use it you lose it.

Does the education system need some work ? Yep. But every generation looking back at the youth thinks they are slackers.

I think the statistics are about the same the information just travels a lot faster.

Darius Ferlas
11-05-2009, 10:35 PM
Sorry, can't agree. I'm guessing that at virtually any point in time, you could fill in those blanks with contemporaries of the time. Yesterday wasn't perfect and tomorrow won't be, and you can't judge America by the actions of a few who end up on the news.
That is true but there is a (subtle?) difference.
The points Nancy described are now acceptable and, indeed, accepted. It's not just in the US. I think this is a general trend worldwide (mostly in the so called 1st World). In yonder decades/centuries people looked up at the admirable and the worthy of followers. Right now the worthy smell the buck$, look down at the masses and deliver what masses expect - panem et circenses (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bread_and_circuses).

And shorty thereafter Rome fell.

Gene Howe
11-05-2009, 10:36 PM
Just be VERY AWARE......this thread is being watched very carefully and is nearing the edge of disappearing.

Your warning was followed by a Google ad for " 'netboots' The Web Site For Republican Candidates". Someone should be policing Google.

Edit: Now it's an ad for CNC Router price quotes. Technology confuses me.

Ken Fitzgerald
11-05-2009, 10:40 PM
If Dennis had his way it would be advertising Carhart Bib Overalls..:eek::rolleyes:

Greg Peterson
11-05-2009, 11:11 PM
If Dennis had his way it would be advertising Carhart Bib Overalls..:eek::rolleyes:

And is there a problem with that?:D

Ken Fitzgerald
11-05-2009, 11:13 PM
No....problem with it. I was simply stating what I know to be a fact and I surely am not trying to get political....Though Dennis will probably try to make a mountain out of this mole hill.:rolleyes:

Jeff Dege
11-05-2009, 11:22 PM
Sorry, can't agree. I'm guessing that at virtually any point in time, you could fill in those blanks with contemporaries of the time.
One of my favorites:


"The national budget must be balanced. The public debt must be
reduced; the arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and
controlled. Payments to foreign governments must be reduced,
if the nation doesn't want to go bankrupt. People must again
learn to work, instead of living on public assistance."
- Marcus Tullius Cicero

Eric Larsen
11-05-2009, 11:59 PM
One of my favorites:

Cicero has a special place in my heart. There have been only a smattering of people like him. And like most people who really cared about "Joe Citizen," he was assassinated for his views.

Forty three years before the "Guy we nailed to a tree" was born, Cicero literally stuck his neck out for the people.

We should really have a national Cicero holiday. He died in December. That's too close to the holiday season. So let's move his holiday up to the Monday following the Superbowl. That way we can contemplate Cicero's message to the world with a mandatory day off from work. :D

Who's up for "Cicero Day?"

EDIT -- I just looked it up. We don't know WHEN he was born. I say he was born the Monday after the Superbowl. It's always better to celebrate a birthday than a deathday. Cicero Day. It's an idea whose time has come!

Brian Ashton
11-06-2009, 5:34 AM
There is a saying I like that took me years to understand. And that is: the more things change the more they stay the same.

If you look into history very closely. By that I mean right down to the mannerisms, wants, needs, and such of people throughout history what you tend to find is people all act the same no matter what the supposed advancements they have at their finger tips... Their fears, desires, ideologies, goals... pretty much all that make up a persons personality are the same. What this person has done is write about a snap shot in history. I bet someone wrote the same thing 10 years ago 20, 50, 100, 200... all the way back to the invention of the written language. And from there even farther back it was simply talked about forever and a day. Personally I don't think a single thing has changed, except the medium in which it's communicated.

Anyways I need to get back to studying company consolidations and intragroup transactions... my life is so much richer for it.

Mitchell Andrus
11-06-2009, 7:42 AM
- a lot of them don't even know how many states there are!

A lot?? How many is a lot? How many is too many?

There has always been a segment of any given population that doesn't know or care about their environment, school, neighborhood, planet, etc. This isn't a new phenomenon.

Any given person can be functionally illiterate at one thing but brilliant at another. Poll a population of 'these' at perhaps MIT and you can point your finger and say "See???? a nation of morons." Simply because you've asked the wrong questions.

Didn't we have a nation 60-80+ years ago where half the population was encouraged to stay home and have babies? Were those the 'good 'ol days' we want to get back to?

Barefoot and pregnant back-woods mountain folk. They now send their kids to school/college.

No, I'm thinking we're making progress... most of us, anyway.

.

Mitchell Andrus
11-06-2009, 7:45 AM
And shorty thereafter Rome fell.

...and other nations were built by the same race with the same faults and complexities.

I'll admit it's a delicate balancing act, but I don't think we're as close to the edge as the essay suggests.
.

Chris Padilla
11-06-2009, 8:16 AM
There is a saying I like that took me years to understand. And that is: the more things change the more they stay the same.

If you look into history very closely. By that I mean right down to the mannerisms, wants, needs, and such of people throughout history what you tend to find is people all act the same no matter what the supposed advancements they have at their finger tips... Their fears, desires, ideologies, goals... pretty much all that make up a persons personality are the same. What this person has done is write about a snap shot in history. I bet someone wrote the same thing 10 years ago 20, 50, 100, 200... all the way back to the invention of the written language. And from there even farther back it was simply talked about forever and a day. Personally I don't think a single thing has changed, except the medium in which it's communicated.

Yep...agree 100%. There is something to complain about every day and humans have done it since...well...ALWAYS. :)

Dan Mages
11-06-2009, 8:55 AM
This is a classic quote attributed to Alexander Tyler regarding the history of the Athenian Republic. In reality, it can be related to just about any government or society.

“From bondage to spiritual faith;
From spiritual faith to great courage;
From courage to liberty;
From liberty to abundance;
From abundance to complacency;
From complacency to apathy;
From apathy to dependence;
From dependence back into bondage.”

The big question is, where are we now?? I'd hate to say it, but I think we are getting close to apathy.

Another troubling trend I see in society is awarding trophies to every kid, even those who finished last. When was the last time at work that you won a contract or received a raise for doing a poor job?

Gene Howe
11-06-2009, 9:04 AM
And is there a problem with that?:D

Darned nice, darned tough, and the lined ones are soooo warm.
I'm accepting donations for my next pair:D:D

Horton Brasses
11-06-2009, 9:31 AM
This is a tough one, but I would like to weigh in. The issues are the same as they have always been. The technology has changed and we now see and hear all the bad all the time-I think that is the only real change in society. People are the same as always.

My generation was/is the "slacker" generation. Generation X, whatever. We were all supposed to be so lazy and entitled. Yet now that we are grown and functional adults we are closer in views and behavior to our grandparents-the so called "greatest generation" than our baby boomer parents. Yet I still hear about how my generation, and those younger are somehow less than the ones before us. I don't buy it. My sister who are a generation younger than me work their tails off. They are part of that Gen Y that gets all kind of criticism. They got trophies and were so entitled. They may be obnoxious :-) but they are hard workers as a whole. So are the boomers, so are the slackers, so were the "greatest generation". Some people do things of value and some do not, no matter their era.

Anthony Scira
11-06-2009, 9:55 AM
A lot?? How many is a lot? How many is too many?

There has always been a segment of any given population that doesn't know or care about their environment, school, neighborhood, planet, etc. This isn't a new phenomenon.

Any given person can be functionally illiterate at one thing but brilliant at another. Poll a population of 'these' at perhaps MIT and you can point your finger and say "See???? a nation of morons." Simply because you've asked the wrong questions.

Didn't we have a nation 60-80+ years ago where half the population was encouraged to stay home and have babies? Were those the 'good 'ol days' we want to get back to?

Barefoot and pregnant back-woods mountain folk. They now send their kids to school/college.

No, I'm thinking we're making progress... most of us, anyway.

.

Yep I agree, you focus on the negative you see negative. I stopped watching local news cause I only see horrific stories.

I still see a lot of good people out there doing extroidinary things.

Chris Padilla
11-06-2009, 11:29 AM
There is good and bad everywhere...just like it has always been...just like it always will be. What do you want to focus on? Ultimately, it is your choice.

Randal Stevenson
11-06-2009, 12:02 PM
What do you want to focus on? Ultimately, it is your choice.

AND responsibility. Some people grow up on their own, others are forced into it by situations (how many of the "greatest generation" would have, if not for WWII?). No matter what, it still, in the end comes down to the individual, not what their parents/teachers/etc told/taught/shown them.

Eric DeSilva
11-06-2009, 1:15 PM
The points Nancy described are now acceptable and, indeed, accepted.

I don't believe that for a minute--look at the bullets again. I see one bullet with behavior I'd call acceptable--working out at Curves then rewarding yourself with a muffin strikes me as being a possible step in the wrong direction if you would have had the muffin anyway. The reference to men raping women in the same bullet is in no way, shape or form comparable, and putting it in there is a cheap linguistic trick. In the next two paragraphs I see absolutely no conduct that anyone would defend as acceptable--same with the last two.

That leaves only the paragraph on judgment and taste, which is a bunch of value-laden assertions and judgments (none objectively supported) that sound an awful lot like an old fogey saying "that rock-n-roll stuff is crap, music has been on a decline since the big band era." It amounts to saying "my taste is better than yours."

I don't buy that this kind of behavior is acceptable, and I don't see it around me. What I do see are decent people around me -- a colleague who was just explaining his allowance system for his daughters, which involved setting aside a percentage for savings and a percentage for charity. People working on a massive charity event for next week. I also see people that work *harder* than generations before--I work in a business where, if I compare the output to 20 years ago, I think prior generations had a walk in the park. Three martini lunches? No way. Document turn-around times of days because of the latency of revising and editing typed materials duplicated with carbons? Relaxing compared to the capabilities of the tools we have today and the acceleration of document turns to hours. The demands are much greater in my line of work than they were 20 years ago.

And, the reality is also that 20 years ago, it would have been pretty hard for the women working in offices adjacent to mine to have the jobs they do. Or heck--even me having the job I do, given the fact that I'm not a WASP. I occasionally get dragged into watching Mad Men with my wife. You can cast stones at how people are treated today, but think a moment about how women or minorities were treated then.

While there are individual behaviors I will readily condemn, I'm not willing to say that society as a whole has hit the skids just yet.

Dennis Peacock
11-06-2009, 2:19 PM
Darned nice, darned tough, and the lined ones are soooo warm.
I'm accepting donations for my next pair:D:D

If you find some nice'uns like that? PM me so I can get you my bib size. I'd LOVE to have a pair of bibs just like those.....nice, tough, and lined. :cool: :D

Dennis Peacock
11-06-2009, 2:21 PM
back-woods mountain folk.
.

Now Mitchell.....you have entered into my neck of the woods. Come on down for some real home cookin'.!! We can put ya on a purdy good feedbag.!!! ;)

Mitchell Andrus
11-06-2009, 3:24 PM
.... While there are individual behaviors I will readily condemn, I'm not willing to say that society as a whole has hit the skids just yet.

Well said.
.

Mitchell Andrus
11-06-2009, 3:26 PM
Now Mitchell.....you have entered into my neck of the woods. Come on down for some real home cookin'.!! We can put ya on a purdy good feedbag.!!! ;)

I'll bring the 'Dew. YEEEE - HAWWWW!

Gregg Feldstone
11-10-2009, 5:41 AM
Nancy,
Look up "infantilization" and "infantilism." There's also "social infantilization." Maybe all of these describe what is happening. One gentleman spoke about the elevated business ethic he observes in his job. Why than is there a 20/80 percent chance that one will be treated rudely, unprofessionally, incompetently and with utter indiferrence when speaking to just about ANY businesses customer service or sales personell today?