Are your projects appreciated by family?

[Perry Holbrook]

Back when shop projects were a hobby for me, I had time to make gifts for family members. To be honest, not everyone seems to show a lot of outward appreciation when receiving a gift that is "homemade" and that could describe at least half of those I have made gifts for.

At least that is what I thought until last week.

My mother-in-law passed away last week and on Friday my wife met her brothers and sisters at her mothers modest home for the unpleasant task of cleaning up the "memories". As I ask her how it went, what they found, and who took what, I noticed something.

After all the years and all the gifts her mother had received from 5 children and their families, with very few exceptions, the only gifts that were still in the house were the things I had made over the years. Most were projects that I did years ago as a beginner, candle stick holders, wall cabinet, shelf unit, boxes, lamp, bird feeder, etc.

I wanted to post this to give encouragement to everyone who has given or will give a handmade project this holiday season. If the reaction you get from the gift receiver is not as good as you had hoped for (after spending hours on it) have faith. In the long run it may turn into a treasured possession.

Perry

[Prashun Patel]

That's a really touching story. I'm gonna turn that into a short story for my kids, if you don't mind...

[Mike Wilkins]

Thanks for the encouragement. I sometimes get the same reaction after pouring hours into a project. Even after slicing a finger and a trip to the emergency room, while completing a project for my youngest daughter.
Mike, whose hometown is close by in Forest City.

[Prashun Patel]

Yeah. My biggest battle has been getting 'customers' to appreciate grain patterns or the clarity of a finish. Forget curly maple and shellac; they'd prefer poplar with a dark cherry gel stain...

[John Thompson]

The women on my wife's side of the family get Xmas gifts each year I make with most of those being pieces of furniture for their home. I will catch wind of something they need and build it.. then surprise them at Xmas. I have considered taking the phone out as they call all year to ask her if she will ask me to build this or that for them which I won't. I simply stay on schedule building for my wife which has a never-ending list it seems and I just don't have time so they get surprise's only.

So... I know for fact they do appreciate what they get as I see the pieces when in their home as permanent fixtures.

[Thomas Pender]

My sister had her home redone with beautiful naturally finished white oak by a consumate craftman recommended to me by Northland Forest Products (we used their flooring). (Included stairs - breathtakingly well done.) Her bed was unsatisfactory and she asked me to build her a headboard.

Well, I ended up building her an entire platform bed out of white oak finished to match her floor. (Took me a while - scale is large.) We installed it for her. Now, it gets back to me that everyone who comes to her home gets shown the bed where she braggs her brother made that for her.

I am working on something for my brother now he will pick up at Thanksgiving (which I will start a thread on once it is varnished) and some more stuff for my sister.

So, yes people appreciate what I do and yes it makes me feel great. No doubt about it - woodworking is the Rolls Royce of avocations.

[Craig McDaniel]

Maybe an arm's length of separation helps with the appreciation?

When I make things for my own home (ranging from cutting boards up to the entertainment center and our front door), the response I typically receive is lukewarm. "That's nice, but I could have bought it at [insert store]..." is about as good as it gets.

When someone visits and notices a piece I've made, the value of it seems to go up. Here's an example...one of the earlier projects I did for my wife was a jewelry box made of cherry with a purpleheart inlay. I gave it to her and it sat on her dresser (unused) for at least a year. Then, she showed it to one of her friends and the friend just gushed over it. The next fall, my wife decided to enter it as a craft at the state fair where it placed 3rd. Now it sits in a display cabinet with the ribbon along with the other collectibles that my wife has.

What's interesting is that her grandfather was a woodworker (I never met him) and she has several of his pieces. They are all reasonably well made but none are exceptional. What is different is the value that is attached to them. When we've talked about changing furniture, the pieces I've made can be sold/given away; the pieces from her grandfather are off-limits.

I think the surprise of receiving the project and uncertainty of receiving another one contributes greatly to its perceived value...

[Brian Kent]

The only gifts I have heard about years later are the ones my wife and I made in the shop.

She got into pewter a few years back and made a little manger set for each niece and nephew. They bring them out each year. My first year woodworking boxes are displayed on shelves. We feel loved.:rolleyes:

[Rod Sheridan]

Absolutely.

I have objects ranging from small bowls to pieces of furniture in family and friends houses.

They're all in use or on display, and I feel at home at their houses......Rod.

P.S. The objects in my house that I've made are predominantly furniture. Diann likes those the best, and often "orders" a new piece.

I've always consulted her on the design of them, wood species, finish etc, and I guess she feels the same attachment to them that I do, as she had a hand in their construction.

Diann also makes the art glass portions such as lamp shades or glass inserts for doors.

[Paul Atkins]

My relatives and friends now expect tops and wooden ornaments every year and look a bit disappointed if they don't get one.

[David Prince]

I think family appreciates a quality piece, but let me throw a thought at you. What if that piece was "crap"? Now, would your extended family keep it out of consideration or appreciation. It would be an awkward conversation if it were asked about a few years down the road and you found out they threw it out. They probably feel obligated to keep it whether it is a perfect piece or a perfect piece of crap. My wife will not throw out a ugly shelf (piece of crap) because it was made by her grandfather who has since passed away. It is okay if she wants to keep it, but is it out of consideration or appreciation? She can keep it, but I wouldn't put it on my wall. Does everyone have a school project their kids made for them? It may be "crap", but we will all save something because it was made by someone in our life, quality or not!

[Rod Sheridan]

My relatives and friends now expect tops and wooden ornaments every year and look a bit disappointed if they don't get one.


I guess you're a victim of your own sucess Paul:D

Regards, Rod.

[Rod Sheridan]

Good point, maybe my friends and family are just keeping the pieces to avoid bruising my ego:eek:.

That's it! No Christmas presents for them!

Regards, Rod.

[David Perata]

One Christmas I made sixteen Shaker Wall Clocks for my brother to give as presents. These were the double door type. This is where I learned to build high quality furniture on a production basis with jigs.

My brother sent me some of the reactions from his friends who received the clocks and they made a huge impression. They were happy and he was happy at having given such an unusual and crafted gift "made by his brother."

Of course, I worked night and day and even then some arrived after Christmas due to the mail rush. By the way, I only send via US Priority Mail and NEVER UPS unless it is so indestructable that a truck could run over it and not hurt it.

[Josiah Bartlett]

My mother still has a desktop book stand that I made for her when I was in junior hi. She needed it when she injured her wrist and couldn't stand to write horizontally, so I just threw it together. It was just some pine with the ends dadoed into the face to provide a 45 degree angle and it doesn't even have a finish on it. I've offered to replace it for her and she refuses.

This year I'm making peppermills for various family members and friends. The prototype (in walnut) turned out great, so I've got a stack of blanks in prep. I've made a small production line out of it- set up once for each step, machine each blank, move on to the next step. They will all use the same mechanisms but I'm planning to free hand them into different forms. My wife told me that she gets to pick the nicest one for herself before I give them out.

[Vince Lok]

Well, I made a table for my little girls and wood burned "For Chloe and Samantha, Love Dad" on the bottom of it. So far they like it. It's not even close to fancy and is made with not the greatest wood. In the month that they've had it, they seem to have enjoyed colouring it all sorts of different crayon shades so I thnk they like it. Maybe in the future they'll do homework on it.

I dunno if they'll appreciate it later, but I love to see them using it! (the are almost 2 year old twins)

As my skill grows, I'll build better things. Currently I'm making a little step stool for them to reach the sink.

Oh yeah, for posterity, I like to woodburn my initials and date on the backs of things I've made.

Vince

[Ken Fitzgerald]

I've turned various gifts for family members and special family events...daughter's wedding etc. For the most part they are appreciated. My MIL, however, just rants over them. She asks me regularly if I have anything else for her.

My wife has commissioned me to make at least 3 significant pieces of furniture so that after our departure from this earth, each of our 3 kids will get a piece of furniture Dad built.

Since I bought my MM-16, my PM32520B and my Onieda DC, my youngest son's response was....to heck with the furniture, I want Dad's tools.:eek::confused:

[Dave Lehnert]

I think the most amazing story I heard was on a TV show. This lady when she was a child wanted a Dulcimer. Her father was unable to afford one so he made one out of scrap wood. It was a rough version. When her father gave it to her she was mad and slammed it down on the table.
After many years her dad passed and she often wondered what happened to that homemade dulcimer. She was very sad her dad made that for her and reacted in the way she did.
She was searching on E-Bay and she found what looked like the dulcimer her dad made. She took the chance and was the highest bidder. She received it in the mail and believe it or not, It was the one.

I made a few things for a friend but thought I never got the reaction I thought I would have. She was thankful but you know the feeling.
Fast forward 10 years or so. Out of the blue I received an email from her asking me if I remembered giving them to her. She named every item. The one she especially talked about, that seemed to give her the most meaning, I forgot I even made for her.

Ever notice how little things mean the most today but was no big deal at the time. Mom making pancakes on Saturday morning. Or Dad packing your lunch for school. Same thing in woodworking I guess.

[Jim Becker]

Thanks for sharing that, Perry. I can only hope that someday the things that I've made will be appreciated as much as I appreciated being blessed with the opportunity to create them.

[Vic Castello]

I'm mostly a relief woodcarver. Most of my stuff ends up on sombody's wall, or displayed on an easel. Like all of us, I work on this stuff for hours and hours. So, when I showed my kids a blue ribbon I recently won for one of my pieces at a woodcarving show, my daughter said....that's nice Dad, but when are you going to make something that is actually useful!

Family appreciation???

:confused:

[Jeremy Wilcox]

i havent built anything great furniture wise but i have ambitions.... I seem to have great lack of time and dedicated shop space. I have made simple routed/profiled shelves and wall plaques/ key racks. My problem with my wife is that since i cant seem to find time to do projects she goes and buys some cheap crap and it bothers me because i could of made that. Perfect example she wants a spice rack.... i can do this and we are at lowes and she points out one that is $40, i was like i can defiinately build this for less than 40 ...put it back. she did but now i must make a concerted effort to do it. Good chance for a xmas present i suppose.

[Prashun Patel]

Personally, I always end up spending more on a piece than if I had bought it outright. There's always an excuse to buy a new tool or better wood.

[Jeff Mohr]

I made a cutting board for my grandmother a few years back. I went to visit here and it was hanging on the wall as it was too nice to cut on! I guess you could say she liked it....

[Pat Keefe]

Well, I am like most blokes, dissappear into the shed and muck around. Occasionally I might even do something. Our daughter moved into a new place and her mother went to check it out. It was noted that the lounge room "needed" a coffee table, to which the daughter replied "Just like yours, mum" as I had made my wife a coffee table several years earlier. My wife remembered that I had a coffee table size Redgum slab in my shed and the order was given.

Now I am given to acts of sheer bastardry on the children, so when the daughter would come over to our place, she wood enquire about the state of the table . . . excuses were given, too much work, not the right tools, lack of interest, which would irritate said daughter.

The table was delivered on her 21st birthday, to her suprise;)

[Sean Hughto]

Paul, I just a beginner, but have been turning a few tops recently - just making them up as i go - sort of skew practice. All work well enough, but I'm curious if you've found any particular design that outshines the others as far as being easy to spin and stays spinning longest? Thanks.

[Rod Sheridan]

I'm mostly a relief woodcarver. Most of my stuff ends up on sombody's wall, or displayed on an easel. Like all of us, I work on this stuff for hours and hours. So, when I showed my kids a blue ribbon I recently won for one of my pieces at a woodcarving show, my daughter said....that's nice Dad, but when are you going to make something that is actually useful!

Family appreciation???

:confused:

Vic, that's funny!

For years my daughter called our Morris chairs "garden furniture".

Now that she's out on her own, and has seen Morris chairs in furniture stores, she's wondering if I'll make her a couple.

Don't see any reason to as her condo doesn't have a garden:D.

Regards, Rod.

[Sean Hughto]

My expereince is that some (a minority to be sure) folks who have never really thought much about fine woodwork - what constitutes it and what it takes to produce it - don't really appreciate what they've been given. Or they might be impressed in a "wow, you can make a bookcase as nice the Ikea ones!" sort of way. They just have always taken furniture, bowls, pens etc. for granted.

Other people are truly impressed and grateful. The hope with the folks that don't really know any better is that maybe your gift will open their eyes a bit as far as appreciating the finer things and the effort it takes to produce them.

[Josiah Bartlett]

I spent a weekend carefully matching grain patterns on a damaged stained window trim and then got told to paint it white by my wife. Whoever strips that down to restore the original finish is going to thank me. Probably me.

[Bob Rufener]

I have been making something for each of our kids over the past few years. I do believe they really appreciate them. I have made simple things like a key and letter holder, a bank with doors using old postal box brass doors, and a pen holder for a desk top. I also made each of them a two drawer file that I know they very much appreciated. Maybe they will appreciate them more after I am gone and these things will bring back a memory of me. That in itself would be worth it. I have also made a few larger things for friends who have done me favors. I made a pine hutch for a friend who built a log house. I also made a fishing rod/ cabinet for a friend who has taken me on several trips to Canada fishing. I don't think he really appreciated it as it sits in his basement unused. I kind of feel bad about that but I feel good about the fact that I made it for him alone and have the satisfaction of returning some favors. I will continue to do this when I see something that a friend or relative might enjoy. Even if they don't enjoy it, I'll still have the satisfaction of trying to do something nice for someone else.