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Michael Stafford
09-27-2004, 2:38 PM
First of all let me say that I have the utmost respect for women. My wife insists on that. Over thirty years ago while dating I placed my wife on a pedestal. She liked the view from up there and I have since done my dead level best to keep her there. She told me if I didn't I that's what I would be... dead and level or at least horizontal.

That said, in the ensuing 30+ years I have very carefully excluded her from the shop and shop activities by pointing out how messy, dirty and dangerous they are.

In recent days I have become concerned. I have carefully followed Carole Valentine's thread in the general section regarding a malfunctioning drill press chuck. She asked for help and all the experts chimed in and offered suggestions and fixes. The correct advice was to tell her to buy a new drill press. That is what we would have told our own wives.

To her credit Carole tried all of the fixes and of course none of them worked. In her frustration and anger she took a wooden mallet and gave the offending chuck a whack and voila' - it was working.

Two concerns come to mind. First the failure of "expert" advice reinforces what women already think- men do not know what they are talking about. Secondly and most importantly, an inanimate object can be bent to a woman's will with a hammer.

The logical extension is, if this works on inanimate objects how long before some woman decides to try it on an animate object, say, a man's head? I can almost guarantee that the man will become more compliant as well. Once this knowledge is learned women will most certainly pass it on to their female friends.

Dire consequences, my brothers, are at hand if women learn the time tested adage "get a bigger hammer". Imagine that if brides as part of their gift registry ask for wooden mallets can gluts, beadles and God forbid, commanders be far behind? Who knows what this knowledge can lead to?

I have long suspected that Lorena Bobbitt took 8th grade shop; at the very least she was exposed to wood carving..... :eek:

JUST KIDDING, LADIES.

Dave Brandt
09-27-2004, 3:02 PM
ROTFLMAO! :D Hopefully, one of our moderators will delete the dangerous thread before it gets into the hands of male bonking females!

John Miliunas
09-27-2004, 3:19 PM
Hey, and what exactly is wrong with women in the shop?! :confused: :mad: See thread: http://www.sawmillcreek.org/showthread.php?t=12375

I rest my case! :cool:

Tyler Howell
09-27-2004, 4:02 PM
I LMAO too! Well stated.:D :D .

Nothing wrong with them John, Just like I posted in your thread Casey may lock you out.:o