Anyone know a good online forum for those facing divorce?

[Dan Mitchell]

I've mentioned as an aside in a couple posts of my wife pressing for a divorce. I wonder if anyone here might happen to know of a good online "support" sort of forum for someone facing this life-changing event. Did a bit of googling, all I seem to find is lawyers, sites peddling books, etc. I actually had my security program block me from accessing a couple of them!

TIA

Dan

[Brian Kent]

Dan,

I don't have any leads yet, but I am trying to help you find something. Your post really woke me up to how helpful that would be for a whole lot of people. Meanwhile, I'm cheering for you.

Brian

[Dan Mitchell]

Dan,

I don't have any leads yet, but I am trying to help you find something. Your post really woke me up to how helpful that would be for a whole lot of people. Meanwhile, I'm cheering for you.

Brian

Thank you, Brian. I agree, it seems like an awful lot of people could use a good, friendly place to vent & get feedback & support on this issue, without someone trying to "sell them" something.

I appreciate your kind thoughts.

Dan

[James Stokes]

A lot of churches have divorce support groups. I did at one time have a web address for one but no longer have it.

[Dan Mitchell]

A lot of churches have divorce support groups. I did at one time have a web address for one but no longer have it.

Thanks James, I'm sure you're probably right about that. It's a good idea, but I'm not really religious. Still, some may have such groups without any overt religion entering into it. Might be worth a shot.

Dan

[Dennis McGarry]

Dan,

Not sure of any groups online for it, but I can give you the same advice I was given not to long ago. Surround yourself with friends and family. Non judemental ones. Talk it out with them. It is a very difficut time and you need to be able to vent, cry, talk, and share.

Friends are you best bet, the good friends that know you. Also you have a great support group here as well. Hang in there and always look forward, never back.

Dennis

[Dan Mitchell]

Dan,

Not sure of any groups online for it, but I can give you the same advice I was given not to long ago. Surround yourself with friends and family. Non judemental ones. Talk it out with them. It is a very difficut time and you need to be able to vent, cry, talk, and share.

Friends are you best bet, the good friends that know you. Also you have a great support group here as well. Hang in there and always look forward, never back.

Dennis

Thanks Dennis, unfortunately, we're fairly new to the area, and I don't really have anyone who qualifies as a "good friend" at the moment. I've always put all my energies of that type into my relationship with my wife, it's just the kind of guy I am, fat lot of good it did me. The eggs/basket thing is definitely proving true in that regard. I do have a good relationship with my older brother, who has been quite helpful, in terms of listening.

Dan

[David G Baker]

Dan,
Many of the religious help groups are not necessarily religious, quite a few are there to help, not push religion at you.
I have been through it two times and it can be rough and at times I didn't think I would or could survive but I did and I have a much better life than I did with either of my ex-wives. One of the things that helped me was realizing that time will heal the wounds and it really did. I did have a couple of very good friends that listened to me and tried their best to help. I joined Parents Without Partners and found that it was a great help being surrounded by people that had gone through and were going through the same thing I was going through. PWP was probably the best help in getting me back on my feet.

[Dan Mitchell]

Dan,
Many of the religious help groups are not necessarily religious, quite a few are there to help, not push religion at you.
I have been through it two times and it can be rough and at times I didn't think I would or could survive but I did and I have a much better life than I did with either of my ex-wives. One of the things that helped me was realizing that time will heal the wounds and it really did. I did have a couple of very good friends that listened to me and tried their best to help. I joined Parents Without Partners and found that it was a great help being surrounded by people that had gone through and were going through the same thing I was going through. PWP was probably the best help in getting me back on my feet.

PWP sounds like a great idea for those with kids, which we lack. That of course makes the break-up a bit less messy, but I keep thinking, maybe if we'd had kids, it would have helped hold us together. Not that that's a good reason to have them of course, it's just something that goes through my mind.

It means a lot to me that you guys have taken the time to try to help me out here. Thank you.

Dan

[Bonnie Campbell]

Check Yahoo groups. I did a fast search for support groups and got a pretty good list.

As in any 'group' listings online, some can be worse than no help. I've found a grief support group that is pretty good through Yahoo.

[Belinda Barfield]

Check your local newspaper. Usually the "Community" or "Events" section lists meetings for support groups. I'm guessing there are probably several in the Seattle area.

I wish you the best during this difficult time.

[Mike Circo]

I'll ditto the local paper search. The internet is too full of ads and for-profit options to give you the kind of support you need at this time. Also another good option is a "non-demonational" type church. Near me there is such a church and they had a nice support group.

Oh. Children would have not helped the marriage, that only would have made the separation more difficult. When my wife left after 22 years, she left me the children, bills, and gratefully the house. No amount of counseling, guilt or feelings responibility for her family or children would change her mind. Heck, her own mother and sisters were on my side.

Also as said before. Time will heal these wounds. You may not believe it now, but truly things will get better.

[Dan Mitchell]

Check Yahoo groups. I did a fast search for support groups and got a pretty good list.

As in any 'group' listings online, some can be worse than no help. I've found a grief support group that is pretty good through Yahoo.

Bonnie - I forgot about Yahoo groups. I was on a watch repair group over there sometime back, before I switched my "hobby" interests to woodworking. I see there are quite a few on divorce. The nice thing about the Yahoo ones is they're moderated. I had looked for a divorce forum in newsgroups, and they were jammed with spam. Thanks for the tip.

Dan

[Dan Mitchell]

[QUOTE=Belinda Williamson;1240874]Check your local newspaper. Usually the "Community" or "Events" section lists meetings for support groups. I'm guessing there are probably several in the Seattle area.

I wish you the best during this difficult time.[/QUOTE

Good idea, I'll pick one up on Sunday. Thanks for your kind thoughts.

Dan

[Dan Mitchell]

I'll ditto the local paper search. The internet is too full of ads and for-profit options to give you the kind of support you need at this time. Also another good option is a "non-demonational" type church. Near me there is such a church and they had a nice support group.

Oh. Children would have not helped the marriage, that only would have made the separation more difficult. When my wife left after 22 years, she left me the children, bills, and gratefully the house. No amount of counseling, guilt or feelings responibility for her family or children would change her mind. Heck, her own mother and sisters were on my side.

Also as said before. Time will heal these wounds. You may not believe it now, but truly things will get better.

I know you're right about the kids, of course. Through this whole thing, I just keep thinking about that lyric from the old Kenny Rogers song "You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille, With four hungry children and a crop in the field". I don't have any crops, but short of 3 kids under the age of 5 screaming "WHERE'S MOMMY?!?", I don't know what else she could have done.

Dan

[Art Mulder]

A lot of churches have divorce support groups. I did at one time have a web address for one but no longer have it.

No personal experience, but I have heard a good recommendation for http://www.divorcecare.com/

[John Keeton]

...it seems like an awful lot of people could use a good, friendly place to vent & get feedback & support on this issue...Dan, I practice family law and let me assure you that posting anything on an online forum will NOT be in your best interest. There is a high probability you would see those postings again - in the courtroom. I have that situation in half of the cases I handle, and I use it to its utmost advantage. Your wife's attorney will, as well.

Don't air your laundry in public. Others have given you sound advice for local support groups, but please understand that that unless you have a "privileged" situation, anyone you speak with regarding the substantive issues in your divorce may be called as a witness.

I wish you well.

[Dan Mitchell]

Dan, I practice family law and let me assure you that posting anything on an online forum will NOT be in your best interest. There is a high probability you would see those postings again - in the courtroom. I have that situation in half of the cases I handle, and I use it to its utmost advantage. Your wife's attorney will, as well.

Don't air your laundry in public. Others have given you sound advice for local support groups, but please understand that that unless you have a "privileged" situation, anyone you speak with regarding the substantive issues in your divorce may be called as a witness.

I wish you well.

Good point John, thanks for the advice.

Dan

[Josh Reet]

Not to sit on a woodworking forum and tell you to get another hobby, but a decent way to get to know some good guys in the NW is to hang out here:

http://www.washingtonflyfishing.com/board/

99% guys there, most all based around where you live, plenty of them happy to take a new guy out on the river and away from life's problems. Besides, think of all the fly boxes and rod racks you could make for your fly fishing gear!

[Larry Wadman]

Familylife.com or
troubledwith.com/relationships/ (http://troubledwith.com/relationships/) They are faith based but isn't life.

[Cliff Rohrabacher]

online "support" sort of forum

Men are weird animals. they tend to take it on the chin and keep things to themselves then die of stroke too young.

My best "support" was spending five figures dating women over the course of a couple years. Best advice I can offer is, get in the saddle again and ride.

[David G Baker]

I agree with Cliff, just don't tie the knot again until you have your "stuff" together, rebound relationships can be hazardous to your health and well being..

[Dan Mitchell]

All good advice. Thanks again all for your thoughts.

Dan