RE: My sudden departure..

[Dennis McGarry]

Well guys, just wanted to drop a quick note to explain my sudden departure.

Life at home is at a very troubling time, seperated from wife, not sure if divorce is next yet or not. 16 years going down the drain fast.

I havnt turned anything in weeks, but I have received a lot of blanks and I will get them turned. Also will be sending out the blanks for the exchange this coming week as well.

Thanks for reading and I will be back..

Dennis

[Mark Burge]

Sorry to hear of your trouble Dennis. May you find peace at the end of the struggle.

[Mike Svoma]

Hang in there Dennis.....things WILL get better.

[Chris Rae]

Sorry about the hard time you're having Dennis, I hope things will get better for you soon.

[Paul Gallian]

I am truly sorry to hear about the troubles. Please look to your own health both physical and mental..

Paul

[Bernie Weishapl]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Things will get better. Watch your health.

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Sometimes playing the cards we are dealt can be a challenge! Take care of yourself!

[Jim Underwood]

Having struggled in my own marriage and made it through (well most of it- it never gets perfect with sinners involved:rolleyes:) to the other side, I heartily recommend hanging in there with it if at all possible.

My sympathies and prayers are with you.

[Richard Madison]

Been there and done that. This difficulty is only temporary. Hang in there and turn some wood.

[David Hostetler]

Not sure if it means anything to you or not, but my prayers are with you. Been there, done that, and it's a T shirt you really don't want... I came out blessed by what happened afterwards, but to say the least, it's something I will never forget. Hang in there... It gets better...

[Steve Schlumpf]

Dennis - sorry to hear of the challenges you are going through! Like others - I have been through it and it is no fun! The good news is - it does get better! Hang in there!

[Jeff Nicol]

Dennis, I have been down the road you are on 3 times and it hurt everytime. I always blamed myself for all the problems and that is never the truth. I finally sought some professional help to see what it was that was wrong with me, the doctor asked me if I thought I could fix the other party's faults and issues. I always said I wanted to try, after about 6 visits he asked me the same thing and I said that I am the only person I can fix and if my problems are not the cause of the marital strife then step back and see if the others problems get straightened out. Well they never did as you can't have a one sided relationship. I moved on and kept trying and finally ended up with my wonderful bride of 12 years and have never been happier. It takes good listening skills and comprimise for a marriage to work, and patience is helpful too. Life is to short to go each day in misery so good luck and stay strong and try to get to an even playing field to start fresh, sharing in each others passions keeps both parties happy.

Stay strong and the gand here at SMC is here for you whenever you need a voice of strength and caring.

Jeff

[Hilel Salomon]

Marital problems can be extremely painful, and I feel for you. Incidentally, the pain can spread to parents, children and siblings. As a father who loves his son and daughter-in-law and adores his grandchildren, I can attest to that.
Best wishes, Hilel

[Bruce Shiverdecker]

Hope things get better for you!

Bruce

[Jim Kountz]

I can empathize with you Dennis. BTDT sad to say but there is life on the other side. Lean on your friends and family and try to find things (like turning!) to occupy your mind and time. Next thing you know it will all be behind you.
Good luck and we're always here for you!!

[Dennis Peacock]

Dennis,

I'm very sorry to hear about your troubles. I'll remember you and the family in my thoughts and prayers.
I've never been there and I don't want to go there. Here's to hoping the very best for ya in the days ahead.

[Pete Jordan]

Dennis,

I went through it 2 years ago. I used my friends and woodturning to get through it.

May God Bless you

[jason lambert]

Hang in there things will get better. Don't look at it as 16 lost if it doesn't work out, you got 16 years out of it that is way better than most. besides people change so it is hard staying together. Just move foward and look for the next challange, I know it is hard. But one way or another things get better.

[John Shuk]

Dennis,
I hope all works out for the best. I know how stressful things can get. I have 3 boys and if the banking system had an equivalent "stress test" We'd probably see where things really stand!:) Just hang in there and act honorably and you'll be OK.

[Dennis McGarry]

Thanks for the kind words everyone.

It is painfull, but for me the hardest part is the realization that I have been the cause for many many many years. And knowing that I pushed her away to a place that is no fun is not a easy pill to swallow.

We are at least talking now, there are a lot of issues on both sides. She has some emotional issues with someone she very recently "meet" that she is dealing with as well. We are starting to see a couples consouler this week so who knows. I am trying to focus on the positive and look forward and not at the past.

Try to remember I can only fix me today, and can not change her or yesterdays events.

Thanks again, I turned a blood wood pen yesterday and my lord this thing wanted to be anything but a pen, a simple slimline took 3 hours! It blew apart 4 times, 3 on one barrel on 1 on the other. Damn near glued my fingers together fixing it and getting it turned again, shot the skew out of myu hand and threw a plate glass window in the basement.

BUT aside from it being a little out of round the really thin in one area under the clip, It looks Great, wife took that one and says its her favorite since it caused me the most trouble. :) (she said it lightheartedly)

Thanks again guys! I will be back..

Dennis

[David Hostetler]

Not sure if it would help you. But have you looked at "The Love Dare?" book, and the movie Fireproof?

It's not over until it's over, and if there is truly any love still there, your marriage CAN come back from what you might see as beyond the brink... Even if you are the cause of a lot of the problems...

You are right, you can only fix you. But you may also be able to attract her back if you are truly sincere, and fix what is broken with you. She was attracted to you for a reason in the first place right? If she's giving you the time of day, there is still something.

And heaven forbid this ends up where so many of us have been, and trust me, you do NOT want to be there... but even if it does go that way, you can go on and live a great life...

I won't say anything more on the subject as it will veer into the realm of religion. If you want to hear that perspective, PM me...

[Dennis McGarry]

Update:

Figured since I am back posting again I would update this thread and thank everyone again for the kind words and postitive thoughts.

We are basicly back together, counseling is going good, communication has gotten a lot better. We are actually starting to be happy around one another again.

Home life has also improved, money still tight but getting managable.

Anyway, thanks again for the help and letting me vent in the beginning, Its good to be back!

[Rob Cunningham]

Welcome back Dennis. Glad to hear things are beginning to work out for you. Hang in there.

[Greg Just]

That's great news Dennis

[Steve Schlumpf]

Always great to hear when folks can work things out! Looking forward to seeing some of your turnings - when you have time!

[Ken Fitzgerald]

Dennis,

I'm glad to know things are going better.

This coming Christmas Eve the LOML and I have been married 41 years. Anyone who knew us during the first 18 months we were married would be shocked to know it's not only lasted but our love and respect for each other has only gotten stronger. I nearly lost her to a rare and deadly form of cancer 16 years ago. I'd be an empty soul without her presence at my side.

Marriage is a like a job or profession....you have to work at it everyday...and you can never take the relationship for granted.

Good luck!

[Heather Thompson]

Dennis,

Congrats, my husband and I have been together for almost 14 years, there were six months that were real tough. We cuddle every night and morning, still have issues, that will never change. I think that issues in a relationship make it stronger, I would like to take a relalationship to handplane smooth, but I think a glue joint will last a long time, hold her close tonight as a good friend, you will both like that.

Heather

[Alan Tolchinsky]

As Jeff said, " Life is too short". The struggle will be worth the pain and effort so you can eventually live a happier more peaceful life. My prayers are with you. YOU CAN DO IT AND THINGS WILL GET BETTER.

[Jeff Nicol]

Dennis, Like I said before took me until the 4th one to get it right. I am glad that things are turned around and the days are getting sunny again! Money seems to be an issue with a lot of relationships, being happy with 3 bucks in your pocket is better than being filthy rich and unhappy. We all are here for you whenever and take it one day at a time.

Bless you and yours,

Jeff