And then the fight started...

[Brian Brown]

A friend sent these, and they were good for a laugh.


My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She
asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...
--------------------------------------------

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...
-------------------------------------------

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...
-------------------------------------------

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify
my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go
home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my
curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.'

And then the fight started...
----------------------------------------

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...
---------------------------------------------

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...
-----------------------------------------------

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....
---------------------------------------------------

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold
cream.

And then the fight started....
----------------------------------------------------

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her
not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.

And then the fight started.....
----------------------------------------------------



I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And then the fight started....
-------------------------------------------------------

[Brian Effinger]

That's getting emailed to some people I know :D

Thanks Brian!

[Jim Barrett]

Yes, I received that from a friend...had me in stitches...here is another one that you may "enjoy"



This is what marriage is really all about!



He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The
old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He
placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out
the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile
in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup
down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the
people around them kept looking over and whispering. You could tell
they
were thinking, "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal
for the two of them."


As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He
politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man
said they were just fine - They were used to sharing everything.


The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a
bite.
She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns
sipping the drink.

Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another
meal for them. This time the old woman said "No, thank you, we are
used
to sharing everything."

As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the
napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to
eat a single bite of food and asked "What is it you are waiting for?"


She answered

(This is great)

**********

"THE TEETH."

[Steve Clardy]

Good..good... ROFLOL

[Ken Fitzgerald]

After 40 years of marriage and at our age.....were those supposed to be funny?:confused::rolleyes:






They are cute!

[Dave Hale]

Thanks. I needed that today.....

[Bob Rufener]

Funny stuff!!! Thanks for the chuckles.

[Bruce Shiverdecker]

Made my day!

Bruce