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Dave Anderson NH
01-11-2009, 4:06 PM
My annual trip to Colonial Williamsburg for the 18th Century Furniture conference began with the drive from NH to as far as Columbia MD on Friday. I had made an ironclad decision to make a stop at the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial on the way down. I had made this same vow for each of the last 10 years and each time had found or made up excuses along the way to avoid going. This time I vowed it would be different. No mention of my plans was made to anyone, including my wife who had no idea of attempts over the years.

Friday morning I woke up at 4:45AM after a fitful night's sleep and was on the road by 6AM. I arrived at a parking spot on the Mall at 6:45 while it was still fully dark and the sky was just beginning to show signs that it would lighten. There was absolutely no one around and the Mall was cold and bleak. A 3 minute walk brought me to the statue of the 3 infantrymen standing slightly above ground level inside a circular walk. As I circled slowly ingesting the details of their uniforms, weapons, and gear my eyes started to moisten and I began to shake. Memories supressed for 40 years began to come back to me...both good and bad.

After a few short moments I walked over to the 2 stands containing the alphabetical lists of names engraved in stone. It was now light enough to barely read the names and I began my searches. I would look up a name and the location of the name and then walk down the descending path to the wall and find it. After several trips, my eyes were no longer moist, I was crying like a child and dripping tears everywhere. I went back up to the book and found the one last name that was most special to me.

David B.Graham of Ventural CA, Corporal USMC killed in action about 11:30PM February 8, 1969 1 km west of the Tam Ky airstrip. His 6 man ambush patrol had been attacked and I went out with a 6 man reactionary force. He had been shot in the chest and he died unconscious while I held him and tried to stop the bleeding 5 minutes before the medevac arrived. Because it was night, the Dustoff helicopter wouldn't take the body out. The next morning I took his poncho wrapped body by truck to the army graves registration unit in Chu Lai. David's name is on panel 33w line 85.

This pilgrimage which I so dreaded and was so afraid of making has had a catarthic effect. Last evening just before going in to dinner in Williamsburg with Keith and Jackie Outten and Arron and his wife Kathy and Jess Outten I called Sue back at home. I fessed up as to my stop at the Wall and had to listen to Sue's concern and complaint that she had never heard me mention going to the memorial or my feelings about Vietnam and that she wished she had been there to support me. I had trouble explaining that this was something that I had to face alone but finally got my message across. I feel like a huge load has been lifted from my soul and I have finally come to grips with events going back as far as August 1968. Life is good.

As a final note, if any of you other vets out there have had the same fears, fight them and make the trip. It's not without pain, but you will feel immensely relieved. You can go like I did, at dawn on a weekend in total seclusion and privacy to deal with things on your own terms.

Robert Parrish
01-11-2009, 4:16 PM
Dave, I lived and worked in Washington while they were building the wall but it took me several years to actually visit it. I fought with the 1st Air Cav in 1965-66 in Ia Drang and was wounded at Dak To two week before my rotation date.

John Schreiber
01-11-2009, 4:57 PM
Dave,

Thank you for your sacrifice - and thank you for sharing a little bit of your story here. I am better for having read it.

Ted Shrader
01-11-2009, 5:06 PM
Dave -

I am glad you were able to go this time. An experience that is humbling, inspiring, healing and very rewarding. I have a couple of special places like that that are hard to walk up to, but when leaving, feel so much more fulfilled for having visited. Different experiences each time, but still worth the trip every time.

Regards,
Ted

Bob Rufener
01-11-2009, 5:08 PM
Dave,

A very touching story. I've got tears in my eyes as I write this. I was almost drafted in 1968 but was granted an occupational deferment. I spent the school year of 1969/70 teaching at a military school in Schwaebisch Gmuend, Germany and met many GI's that had a tour of duty in Nam. One of the warrant officers that I became pretty close with was a gun-ship pilot. Whenever we talked, he always brought up Nam and was often bothered by the fact that he had killed people. I lost track of him after I left Germany but often hoped and prayed that he could release the demons inside of him. I hope he has. I visited the Vietnam Memorial about 20 years ago and told my wife to leave me walk alone as I didn't know how I'd handle it. I walked around in a very somber mood looking at all of the names of the GIs who had lost their lives. It was a very emotional experience for me as well even though I had never been there. I'm happy for you that you did what you did and you can be very thankful that you have a wife who is there to support you. I hope life is better for you now that you have released the demons.

Jim Becker
01-11-2009, 8:00 PM
Not having been through anything like you have, I cannot personally know from experience how this made you feel, but I can appreciate how truly important, moving and uplifting this stop was for you. And I suspect that you made your way to the memorial because it was time to do so and I'm glad to hear your recommendation to others. I have been there myself and slowly walked it's length and gazed at the many names on the stone. I watched folks looking in contemplation; some crying and others with their eyes closed and others taking tracings of a loved one's name. It's an amazing place that affects you, whether you were involved in the war or not. I hope your walk among the remembered has brought you some peace.

Don Bullock
01-11-2009, 10:41 PM
Dave, I greatly admire all of those of you who have served in service to our country. Even though I was never in the military I had a similar reaction to The Wall. Many buddies I went through school with are listed on it. To people of our generation it is very sacred ground. I'm very glad that you have some relief in your live because of your visit. Thank you for your service.

Ken Fitzgerald
01-11-2009, 11:25 PM
Dave,

My sincere thanks for your service and thanks for sharing this with us. I had the same results when the "traveling wall" was in Moscow, Idaho some years ago.

David G Baker
01-11-2009, 11:40 PM
I had the luck of visiting the traveling wall twice and it really impacted me. Until you see the thousands of names of the soldiers that gave their lives you can not really get the true experience of just how many died for us.
I am so thankful to the soldiers that went to war for us. I joined the Army in September of 1963 and because of the time I joined I went to Europe instead of Nam. I was working in TV news in the late 60's and got to see up close and personal the way many Americans treated our Vets when they returned home. I was never more ashamed of our people than at that time. It took me years to get over the lack of respect that they were shown.

Steve Schlumpf
01-12-2009, 12:22 AM
As a final note, if any of you other vets out there have had the same fears, fight them and make the trip. It's not without pain, but you will feel immensely relieved. You can go like I did, at dawn on a weekend in total seclusion and privacy to deal with things on your own terms.

Dave,

It’s hard to put into words all the emotions that surfaced while reading this. I was raised military, put in 8 years active and yet was lucky enough to never see combat. I knew a lot of guys who did and those that are still with us today carry those scars with them.

I know the events of Nam will never go away but I sincerely hope that this trip to the wall has opened some way for your wounds to start healing.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Thank you for your service to our country.

Dewey Torres
01-12-2009, 1:35 AM
Dave,
Being active duty presently I ask you to remember Creekers on AD who are serving right now particularly Don Able and I am sure there are plenty more including my self.

I am up for orders soon and as so, will go back into harm’s way soon. This is my first shore command in my entire career and me or any other of the armed forces may very well end up with our names on a memorial one day.

I knew all of this going in to boot camp and I full well know it now. Wish us luck as the next decade might likely be filled with casualties attempting to keep the home front safe!

To all of my predecessors out there (VETS and vet supporters)... thanks for serving (no matter the length) and I hope to I (and those I lead) make you all proud!

Dave Anderson NH
01-12-2009, 7:27 AM
Hi Dewey,
I Believe me, I fully understand your concerns and feelings. After several months with a rifle company I was transfered to a Marine Combined Action Team. I spent the last several months of my tour (at the age of 20) as a Corporal in indepenent command of a squad of Maines, a hospital corpsman, and a platoon of Vietnamese militia. There is no more awesome and sobering responsibility than that of commanding men in combat and being responsible for their lives.

I wish you godspeed and smooth sailing. I am proud that men such as you and Don have devoted your lives and careers to our country. I have no doubt that you and your men will continue to make us proud.

Dennis Peacock
01-12-2009, 10:44 AM
Thanks Dave for your story and experiences. I too have served in the military. I will stand for our country until they put my body in the cold, cold ground.

Thanks to ALL that have served our country and to those who are still actively serving today.

Thomas Knighton
01-12-2009, 11:00 AM
Dave,

My father was a Navy Seabee in Vietnam. On a trip up to that area, my requests to visit DC during our vacation were nixed. Dad didn't want to go the The Wall. He just wasn't ready. Instead, we were going to Arlington, but missed the turn. We ended up in DC.

Dad felt that since we were in Washington anyways, he HAD to go to the Wall. It was the first time I had ever seen my father cry. He balled, mourning those he left behind. I remember him saying "But they were just kids."

Dad's comment that day was kept in my mind every day I served. I was a Corpsman. I understood what could be asked of me every day, and that it could be asked of me at any time. Many of my peers couldn't or wouldn't grasp it, but I did. It was never asked, but there but for the grace of God.

Thanks for your service. I'm glad you were finally able to see the Wall. I hope it helps you.

Tom

jeremy levine
01-12-2009, 11:29 AM
Thank you for your service and thanks for sharing.

Larry Conely
01-12-2009, 11:48 AM
Dave,

The first time I visited the wall was soon after it was completed. It was a very difficult experience. My wife happened to be with me. I did not overtly express the inner turmoil I felt but my behavior betrayed me. I've been back twice since, and premonitions of anxiety diminish each time before the event, although it is always touching to be there. The last time I was there, I took some photos and rubbings of friends' names and posted them on my page at TWS (Together We Serve), an excellent site for Vietnam, or any era, veterans. It is free to join and a great place to find people you were stationed with.

Last fall I hosted a reunion with three other Marines I was stationed with in RVN. We had not seen each other since we served together and had only recently connected with each other. I was apprehensive about the meeting but it turned out to be very therapeutic and a great experience.

I was USMC near Marble Mountain and medevaced in July, 1968.

See http://marines.togetherweserved.com/usmc/servlet/tws.webapp.WebApp?cmd=Profile&type=Person&ID=189680

Larry

Dave Anderson NH
01-12-2009, 11:01 PM
Thanks Larry, I registered.

Mike McCann
01-12-2009, 11:09 PM
Dave

wanted to say thank you.

Mike