While I do feel "please", "thank you" and "I'm sorry" are not instilled in many young children these days, I have been surprised by the number of seniors that do not use those words either.
Going back to the original question of what happened to thank you, I think it is evolving just like writing letters has evolved with phone calls, email, texting, and social media. There are fewer formal written thank you notes sent after the fact, but instead a verbal or typed/texted thank you is given at the time the conversation is going on.
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that’s not going to happen."
I say thank you all the time to clerks in store, the bus driver, and so on. It is just pretty much automatic for me. I am bad at sending thank you cards, but I get a gift only every few years.
As others have already said, the general rule for free stuff left at curb is that the person getting rid of the stuff doesn't want to be disturbed. If you want to interact with the person then don't leave the item outside especially by the curb.
So here's my take from the POV of the "buyer": I call this guy who's giving away a bike(I don't know him from Adam, the norm for Craigslist sales), tell him I'll be over to pick it up. When I get there, here's the bike in the driveway and no one in sight, what do I do? Normally I'd come up to the house, ring the doorbell and say "Hi, I'm Joe Blow, we talked on the phone. I really appreciate your giving me the bike, blah, blah, blah". We'd chat for a bit, you'd roll out the bike, I'd load it in the car with thanks and drive away.
But here I am in a stranger's driveway, there's the bike I'm supposed to pick up, what do I do? Do I go up and ring the bell? What if he's afraid I'll rob him at gunpoint? What if he has a gun and expects I'll rob him? Maybe he's just not a sociable person and doesn't want to meet me? Does he want me to take the bike and get the Hell out of his driveway, I don't owe him any money after all? Or should I just back out and leave?
Personally I'd be really uncomfortable in a situation like this, I'd probably call you to let you know I was here to pick up the bike. Or I'd just figure you didn't want to have anything to do with me beyond removing an unwanted bike from your property, load it up and go. Or maybe I'd just think this was too weird, back out and leave.
I'm not making you out to be a bad guy or anything, I just think if you wanted a face-to-face with your "buyer" you should have made your face available. If I'm selling something on Craigslist, I'll keep a watch out the window around the time I expect the buyer to show up, if he's late I'll call and ask when he expects to get here. When I see him pull in, I'll go outside and greet him as soon as he gets out of his car, introduce myself, shake hands and make some small talk. We'd complete the transaction, I'd help load if needed, we'd shake hands and the deal would be done.
My take is that by not presenting yourself to the buyer and making the goods available without personal contact, you bowed out of any further interaction. It's hard to say Thank You to someone who isn't there. You didn't make any attempt at contact but now you're complaining because he didn't? That street runs both ways.
At 64, I'll be among those that say that kids these days don't have any social skills. Then I'll think back 50 years to my grandparents telling me the same thing..... "The more things change, the more they stay the same". Like it or not, the world moves on.
Last edited by Bill Graham; 12-09-2017 at 9:33 PM.
So I spoke to the guy three times, once to say the bike was available, once to give him my address and once when He told me he would be at my house in 5 minutes. It was dark and it was cold so I took the bike out of the garage and placed it in my driveway so it would be convenient for him to pick it up. I was in the house , the lights were on , but since i didn't "present myself" he couldn't have called me (for a fourth time) when he got there? If I was "afraid I'll rob him at gunpoint" do you think I'd give him my address and put it on Craigslist in the first place?
Dennis
If he spoke to you about it and you put the bike in the driveway and then went back in the house I think he is justified in assuming you just want it gone and don’t want to be bothered with a thank you or anything else.
After hearing the story expanded I would believe even more that, intended or not, you sent a pretty clear message when you talked to him 5 minutes before he got there, put the bike out, and didn't meet him.
Most of what we think is usable that we give away goes to Habitat ReStore or Goodwill. For larger things that wouldn't fit in our small SUV or things I think might be marginal for even the restore I do the curb alert thing. I don't even give my address, just a rough location that way if its gone before I pull the ad no one knocks on my door. Never fails to work. Got rid of a dead water heater that way a month or so ago. I'm sure someone was trilled to get 75lb of scrap metal. Someone patrols our neighborhood on trash night for the same reason.
Last edited by Matt Meiser; 12-11-2017 at 8:51 AM.
Did he say "thank you" on the phone before he hung up?
If so, Karl's point of view that he did not want to bother you made good sense.
I had left things on my driveway (including bikes) for people who responded to my online ads and had expected them not to ring my door bell.
Simon
Let's say the Dennis hadn't put the bike out, but one of his son's friends came over on his bike, parked it in the driveway and they went in and played video games. The guy comes along, sees a bike and says to himself, "Wow ! ..Nice bike for free," loads it up and off he goes.
If Dennis had called Goodwill and said send a truck to pick up a bike, they would have come to the door.
I guess I better say "thank you" for all your responses
Dennis
Simon, if a person came by and took a bike out of someone's driveway, even if he had talked with the owner, how does he know the bike he's taking is the right one if he doesn't knock on the door and greet the owner ? If the owner had told him on the phone the bicycle would be in the driveway and please come take it, no verification required, then it would be proper.
The fact that the professionals' procedure is to talk to the giver before taking, just to be sure there are no misunderstandings or mistakes, shows it's the right thing to do. I agree with the OP. The Recipient was jumping to assumptions that may or not be correct and, if there's any question at all he should go to the door. It's the right thing to do, at least in the area I live in.